Life Clubs - a clearer way of thinking

Just a reminder...

2011-10-02T09:21:00.002+01:00

Do move to my new blog and become a google friend or RSS subscriber again.

Another little piece over there waiting for you... and I'm missing your company!

Otherwise, I hope you're having a lovely weekend - I am.
Best wishes,
Nina
PS Waving to you to come and join me

Thank you SO much

2011-09-25T12:03:00.003+01:00

With help from glittergraphics I want to thank you for being such wonderful followers of my blog.

As hinted at last week, we are now moving to the Life Clubs website - a far more appropriate home - and I look forward to welcoming you there.

As I won't be posting on this website any more, I do hope you'll sign up to be one of our followers again, either through an RSS feed or becoming a Google friend. Just click here.

It's been great knowing you all and I hope we'll stay together.

Best wishes and thanks again. Here's to new beginnings!
Nina

I do like writing on Joomla...

2011-09-16T10:25:00.001+01:00

Yes, it's exciting. I'm about to stop writing on blogspot and, taking the advice of many who know better than I, have bought my blog into our website.

But it's also scary. Joomla is a massive engine that holds our website together. I find it quite complicated and, sometimes, unmanageable. Am I going to cope?

This week's workshop, Training Your Mind, is about the way we talk to ourselves.

I could sit here writing my first ever post, saying 'I can't do it. I loved my old blog - we'd been together for four years. I'm not going to feel creatively inspired. I'm not going to be able to understand how to use this new system.'

Or, I could sit here going 'Gosh, this is an adventure. I love the new layout. It's going to attract way more people to our website. I can learn things easily. I'm a closet geek. Bring on the challenge.'

What do you think I'm going to be saying to myself?

Let's train your mind.

Repeat after me: 'I'm going to Life Clubs this week. I'm going to Life Clubs this week...'

Only joking.
See you there,
Nina
Founder of Life Clubs and tester of all things new

I am moving to my website blog, but, as yet you can subscribe to it. I'll let you know when we're all set up and ready to go. Thanks.

We only use such a tiny part of our brains

2011-09-11T10:26:00.007+01:00

This week I happened to pass by an exhibition by Stephen Wiltshire, a severely autistic artist. If you've never seen Stephen's work, do click on this link. The complexity and detail in his work that comes from his memory, rather than from copying a photograph, is amazing.

Similarly, though in a different vein, those who win pub quizzes and Mastermind have brains they've trained to hold enormous amounts of information. And, again, concert pianists have worked their brains to memorise vast and complex pieces of music and, at the same time, to play them.

Our brains can do so much more than most of us use them for. We're often just scratching the surface in terms of what we've asked our brains to do - a bit like only using Word on a computer - and so it makes sense that we should train them a little more.

Visualisation, the subject of this week's workshop, Holding Your Dreams, is all about how to use a little bit more of your brain more effectively.

Drawing is a simple way to think about visualisation - as is cooking. We start a drawing or cooking a meal (as Ruby probably did when she wanted to demonstrate all the new colours in her kindergarten, see image, or as Nigella probably does before she starts cooking) by imagining what we want to cook or draw before we begin. Then we fill in the spaces from here to end product.

Visualisation has been shown to help people cure illnesses, to help lose weight and to help with our careers and life in general. It can be used as a superior form of planning - I visualise what I'm going to say and do each week before my club so I can be certain I know what I want to say and how I want to say it and, most essentially, what I want to bring along to the workshop.

So start visualising now about how you're coming along to Life Clubs this week and going to learn something that will change your life... just how exciting is that?

I'm visualising seeing you!
Best wishes,
Nina

There's never enough time...

2011-09-03T10:15:00.005+01:00

To me there's never enough time on holiday. I want holidays to go on and on.

At the start of each holiday it seems as if I've got infinite time ahead (that's a great feeling!), but by the time I've relaxed into holiday mode, the days go quicker and quicker and suddenly it's the end and there hasn't been enough holiday.

But during my working life there's always enough time... for what I want to do.

I'm constantly aware of my Balance Chart (see picture) and know which bits of my life I want to work on at any time. We use a Balance Chart every week at Life Clubs for that reason - so it becomes a part of your life too.

We've customised a Balance Chart that we use at Life Clubs Base Camp, so that we can prioritise each area of work and focus on what we want (or need) to do every day. We delegate to each other, know each other's strengths and weaknesses, tell each other when we need help and then together focus on our next tasks. By working as a team and knowing what's important we're increasing speed and cutting out inessentials.

Why do people say they haven't got enough time? Is it an excuse for not wanting to do something?

If you're finding yourself saying 'I haven't got enough time', just stop and think. What would be the harm in saying 'No'?

Learn how to prioritise, avoid procrastination and say 'No' this week at the nearest Life Clubs to you.

It's a great workshop, we call it Streamlining - we like to think of increasing speed to gain time.

See you there,
Nina

Why give feedback?

2011-08-28T08:56:00.004+01:00

There's a lot written about giving feedback and how to give it and this week's workshop, Telling It Like It Is, will help you enormously understand the ins and outs of feedback, but to me what's really important and often not thought about enough, is why you're giving feedback in the first place.

It might feel easier to think about why you're giving Positive feedback - because everyone likes a compliment - but I'm not sure it is.

The other day I was on the set of the really fun film my son is appearing in (Papadopoulos & Sons) and the lead actor, Stephen Dillane, came over to have a chat. I'd just heard him acting a man losing his temper and had been really scared by that 'fake' outburst of anger and wanted to tell him, but, at the same time a little voice was going through my head asking me why I wanted to tell him...

Was it because I wanted to share my sensation of being scared by 'his' temper with him and how impressed I was that he could put that on so easily?
Was it because I could never act and wanted to have a conversation with him about what it's like acting?
Was it because I wanted to boost his ego for the rest of the day - or at least a second?
Was it because I felt awkward in front of someone so good at what he does and felt a compliment was the best way in?
Was it because I wanted him to like me?

Gosh, it's complicated isn't it?

Or maybe it isn't complicated.

Maybe with positive feedback, it's OK to have mixed reasons for wanting to give it, because hopefully the compliment given to the other person does make them feel better, especially if it was honest and true, but with negative feedback it's crucial you know why you're giving it.

Sometimes when my children are wearing clothes I don't think suit them, for example, why would I give them negative feedback and tell them I don't like their shirt, especially if they're just about to go out? What outcome do I want?

Because it gets it off my chest (wrong reason)
Because it might make them go and get changed into something 'nicer' (wrong reason)
Because it's important to me what they look like ('get over it, Nina')
Because I'm a controlling mum (definitely wrong reason)
Because I think others will like/respect them more if they're wearing something 'better' (wrong reason - how do I know what their friends will like)
Because I want to change them (impossible and definitely wrong reason)

Of course, I mean it well, but...

Negative feedback is a tool that has to be used carefully. It's key to find out what outcome you want before you launch into it. If it's a situation you want to change then it's essential to use it, but if you just want to change someone else... forget it.

You can't change me through feedback, but any constructive feedback you want to throw my way, I'd be delighted.

See you there,
Nina
PS This week's workshop always has wonderful feedback from those who come along. What more can I tell you?

Finding Your Strengths

2011-08-20T18:19:00.004+01:00

As you can imagine, this photo has very little to do with this week's Life Clubs workshop, Presenting Me, except that the model clearly knows one of his strengths and is able to use it to his best advantage.

September is a time when many of us are going to be looking for new jobs and often we don't go into the career that actually suits us best and plays to our strengths, possibly because we're not aware of them.

A great friend of mine, for example, redefines charisma. He sparkles when you meet him. He makes you feel alive and interesting. He's a delight to be with. Everyone he knew suggested that he became the next Michael Parkinson, but no. He decided to become a philosopher instead - a career which didn't really play to as many of his strengths.

We tend to do that. Things that come easy to us seem boring and obvious. Instead we go for careers that challenge us and in which we feel we can learn more.

But that isn't what's going to make us happy in the long run. We can challenge ourselves in any subject, whether it's something we're good or bad at. There's always more to learn.

The guy in this photo has found his strengths and this week at Life Clubs we're going to be finding your strengths - in time for the September job market. Come along and flex your muscles.

See you there. Looking forward,
Nina

Feeling good in your body

2011-08-13T18:49:00.005+01:00

My husband is a cross between the water rat in The Wind in the Willows and a character from Three Men in a Boat, so I know to expect a weekly 'let's go rowing'. I quite often find some sort of excuse, but as the clouds were nowhere to be seen and this week's workshop is called Energise Your Body and is all about finding out what makes your body feel good, I thought 'why not' and got ready for a bit of gentle exercise.

It was beautiful on the river. A little choppy, but one of those windy, sunny days which I love. After a disastrous start, in which we almost collided with Richmond bridge, I was off and very much at one with my oars.

We speeded along admiring the coots, grebes, gulls, cormorants and herons, swapping every now and again to take it in turn to row. We were having a lovely time, smiling at all the other passing boats, and I was glad I'd come.

Then, disaster struck. Nearing the boatyard my husband suggested he row the final stretch so that he could 'park' the boat. We got ready to swap sides.

Now, this boat is very narrow, very shallow and a little bit tippy anyway and I had one of those feelings that something was going to happen. As we did our crawling on your hands and knees dance to swap over, the boat toppled over onto its side and I, almost in slow motion, fell out and into the Thames.

I was pleasantly surprised at how warm the water was and I got some swimming in - so even more exercise than I'd anticipated - but once I got back into the boat I began to feel extremely cold and a little shivery.

Luckily my husband had a spare jumper and pair of shorts, so I could get out of my wet clothes and into his dry ones, but I couldn't wait to get home and have a hot shower.

Now, tucked up in bed with a sweet cup of tea I'm feeling much better. I wouldn't say 'good' in my body, but almost.

Roll on next weekend. Can't wait to go rowing again.

See you this week for our inspiring workshop on your body. Great for anyone who doesn't think they like exercise and wonderful for anyone who does

Love,
Nina

Que Sera Sera

2011-08-07T08:20:00.004+01:00

I remember vividly my mother and I singing Doris Day's Que Sera Sera as we were waltzing around the kitchen.... Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be.

It's a great way of feeling you can relax and passively allow someone/something else to be in charge of you and your life.

In many ways it's true - we're not in charge. A friend of mine has just got pneumonia out of the blue, another is moving to Singapore for two years as her husband has been relocated. Both of them feel tossed around by fate and are making the best of their situation.

At Life Clubs we like you to feel you have at least a modicum of control in your life. We like you to feel inspired by a big Plan A - a future you're planning.

As you'll be tackling your Plan A one week at the time you can be flexible if things change, but without that Plan A, we believe you'll not be motivated. You'll be reactively moving along to whatever gets thrown in your way.

This week's workshop, *Life Circles, is about intuitively creating a future you want. You'll leave with a Plan A for the next two years tucked under your arm and a spring in your step.

In fact you'll probably be dancing around the kitchen singing I Want It All (High School Musical)... I want it all, imagine having everything you ever dreamed...

Now won't that be fun!!!

See you this week to create our Plan A.
Looking forward,
Nina
*This workshop was run to much acclaim in January - it's our only workshop to be repeated twice!

What's in a shape?

2011-07-30T11:04:00.004+01:00

Our image comes today courtesy of Lime Cube Marketing, whose logo intrigues me and is particularly relevant to this week's workshop, What Shape Am I In?.

Although I can see it's a lime and my mouth puckers and salivates all at the same time looking at it, the shape confuses me.

A cubed lime, apart from needing a different kind of squeezer, looks so much more organised and deliberate. This lime seems functional rather than warm and decorative. This is a lime that means business.

Look around you. Almost everything you can see is associated with a particular shape. Windows and doors are rectangular (except for portholes and hobbit-hole windows), pictures are rectangular as are books and on and on. Shapes are a shorthand for what things are and suddenly seeing them expressed differently makes us reassess them.

Our workshop this week is all about using the metaphor of shape to discover ourselves and what's important to us. It's one of our identity workshops and not only good fun, but incredibly revealing.

What shape are you in right now? Are you an oval or a square lime?

See you this week - can't wait.
Best wishes,
Nina

Do you like what you see when you look in the mirror?

2011-07-23T07:49:00.006+01:00

There's a fun magazine series out at the moment about what people see when they look in the mirror and this haunting graphic*, by the German painter, Otto Dix, illustrates the way we can so often see ourselves. Note the smooth, sensuous back which has changed into the chest of an ugly hag by the time she sees herself in the mirror.

Otto Dix is famous for his dark and often erotic imagery, but to me this picture brings home a point. We so often look for the worst in ourselves.

This week's workshop, From The Outside In, is about our bodies and self-image.

I find it easy to look at myself in the mirror and notice my middle-age spread, the bags under my eyes, my unruly hair. But what if I looked in the mirror and saw instead my Rubens-like curves, the twinkle in my eyes, my thick, unique hair? Wouldn't that be better.

Or, better still, what if each time I looked in the mirror and asked if I liked what I see, back came the reply: 'Yes I do....I know I can rely on her anytime.'

Ignore Otto Dix (and the mirror) and come along this week and discover your inner (and outer) strengths. It's a powerful workshop.

Looking forward,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs

We are all lottery winners

2011-07-17T11:29:00.004+01:00

How lucky for Mr & Mrs Weir that they won their £161 million just before our Life Clubs workshop this week on money, Want or Need? I thoroughly suggest they jump into their new car (if she’s allowed to buy one) and come on over.

Posh and Becks (only a few million wealthier) have had years in which to accumulate their money, working hard and persistently to get it. They’ve had time to work out what they wanted, time to make mistakes with it, time to row over it.

Mr & Mrs Weir sound like a thoroughly grounded, together couple, but to survive that much money arriving in one fell swoop will call on skills greater than those they have previously needed. Skills that Posh and Becks have been honing for the last seventeen years.

No doubt when Mr & Mrs Weir bought their first ticket all those years ago they had in their mind that the odd million would come in useful. And now they’ve been overwhelmed.

What do you want money for? And how much do you really need – or want? If only Mr & Mrs Weir had come to our money workshop last year they might have saved themselves all the angst they’re about to go through.

Don’t make the same mistake as them!

See you at Life Clubs.
Best wishes,
Nina

I'm such a worrier

2011-07-10T11:19:00.008+01:00

I worry about everything, especially the weather.

For some reason I can never imagine the weather being any different to the way it is right this minute. So I'm sure you can sympathise that for me, packing to go on holiday somewhere hot, for example, is really difficult. I just can't believe that anywhere will be a different temperature from the London I'm in as I'm packing.

Yesterday I decided I'd go to the market with my husband. He loves shopping so goes off every Saturday to buy salamis, cheeses and anything else he fancies and, as I don't like shopping, I leave him to it. But yesterday I said I'd keep him company and he suggested cycling.

As we got to the Boris bikes it was seriously grey skies and quite clearly about to start raining. I looked up and said I'd rather go by car. "It's going to keep being like this" I told him "and I don't want to get wet with all our shopping."

So, kind and patient man that he is, he listened to my moans and we went in the car.

How foolish I was. The moment we got to the market the skies were blue and the sun was shining. It would have been a wonderful bike ride and, here we were, stuck in the car.

In honour of this week's workshop, Never Again, I made a pledge. I was never going to let the weather put me off doing what I want to again.

We're going rowing on the river today. It's looking grey, but I'm up for it!

See you at this week's workshop. It's inspirational!
Best wishes,
Nina

Sometimes I don't feel like being creative

2011-07-02T16:19:00.005+01:00

This week's Life Clubs workshop, Getting Out Of The Box, is all about being creative. It's an enormously fun and innovative workshop and I can promise that you'll learn a lot of simple tricks that will have you feeling creative even though (on a bad day) you might say you're not really a creative person.

I don't believe anyone isn't creative, although I certainly know what it's like to feel leaden and uncreative.

This week I've been fluctuating between moments of high creativity and 'I'm not creative' thoughts, started off by the wonderful Treasure website. It invites anyone to send in their favourite treasures and then it displays them - it's a fun site for looking at.

But, over the last two weeks, thinking about what my favourite treasure is plus what I'd say about it, has made me feel very inadequate. I'm not much of a hoarder of knick-knacks and couldn't really decide on which piece in my small collection was most important to me - if any. I was bought up by refugee parents who (for obvious reasons) never put too much store by possessions and have inherited the belief that it's people, not things, that are important.

So, I've gone from one piece to another wondering which one best represents me and, then, just yesterday, thinking of nothing in particular, I realised that the only really important treasure for me is my set of coloured pencils.

What makes you feel creative?

See you next week.
Best wishes,
Nina

I'd hate you to wake in the night...

2011-06-26T17:28:00.006+01:00

This week’s workshop, Clearing Space, is all about decluttering. I remember when I first wrote it I had in mind that it would be about tidying up (one of my weak points), but the more I worked with it, the clearer it became that the decluttering was all about every aspect of our lives – whether our diaries, our bodies, our laptops or our minds. And we’ve even run the workshop backwards for those who’ve done too much decluttering to bring a little love and spontaneity back into their lives.

My mind has been playing havoc recently. I’ve been waking in the middle of the night and fretting. I’ve lain there for ages trying hard not to wake my husband - although secretly wishing he would wake and help me relax.

Each night has ended up with me padding out of my cosy bed to a place where I can turn on the light and write down everything that’s worrying me and thus declutter my brain.

In a couple of minutes I’ve written a ‘to do’ list for the morning and thus ensured I won’t forget anything that was causing me such insomnia. That ‘I can’t go to sleep as I might forget something I have to do’ feeling has completely gone. I feel light, relaxed, confident my thoughts have been saved and ready to go back to sleep.

Decluttering works – at all times of day and night – and not just for desk tidying up. Come and find out which bit of you (or your life) needs a good clear out – and how to get a good night’s sleep!

See you there,
Nina

Working on relationships

2011-06-18T19:11:00.004+01:00

This week at Life Clubs we've got a great workshop about relationships, called Making Relationships Work.

My workshop is on Wednesday and, to be honest, I was beginning to feel a bit hypocritical about running it. I haven't been very sociable recently and didn't feel I was doing particularly well on the relationship front.

This weekend has changed all that (or most of it!) Our children are looking after themselves and my husband and I are having the weekend alone together. We've done nothing much - we've both been working quite a bit, but we've also been to the pub, had a lovely wet walk, and, what's been so important, spent time together.

In that time we've had conversations, listened to each other, been sounding boards for each other and realised why we liked each other in the first place.

If you want to make a relationship work, it doesn't have to be a whole weekend, but why not get together and listen to each other. Miracles will happen.

I'm now ready to run that workshop!

See you Wednesday,
Best wishes,
Nina

Gosh, I'm stuck in my comfort zone!!!

2011-06-12T19:01:00.006+01:00

I don't think I've ever won a single medal or award. I don't think I've ever tried.

I'm one of those people who, if I feel any sort of competition looming, just walk in the other direction.

When I heard this week that I was going to be nominated for the NatWest Everywoman Entrepreneurs Award I suddenly felt different.

Part of me wondered why I hadn't been more competitive before as the feeling was definitely good and exciting and then the other part of me kicked in and wanted to crawl back into my hole and say 'I don't do competitions - I'll just lose'.

This week's workshop, I Dare You, seemed particularly apt. If I dared myself, I could allow myself to get excited and if I didn't, I could shrink away.

Maybe this will be the first award I win. Just how exciting would that be.

I Dare You and me to go for it! Do something you're nervous about this week - maybe it's coming to Life Clubs! Just like me you'll find there's absolutely nothing to be nervous about!

See you there.
Best wishes,
Nina
PS Do have a look at this great video about Life Clubs created by a wonderful initiative, A Good Week.

What cements friendships?

2011-06-04T09:25:00.007+01:00

This week at Life Clubs we've got a fascinating workshop on what kind of friends you want and what makes you a good friend. It's called Uppers and Downers.

I was dipping into Richard Wiseman's excellent book, 59 Seconds, last week, where he said (forgive my paraphrasing) that often the instant glue between people is what you both dislike, so I've been thinking about that.

I've gone through a long list of people I know to see who else dislikes squid, We Will Rock You, M&S Heat & Eat meals.. etc and can't think of anyone.

I know that frisson of shared loathing and it is a fun start, but it doesn't sustain a friendship for me. Maybe I've got the wrong friends - or maybe we all think a little bit differently.

I very much enjoy people who like the same things as me. We can have picnics together, go dancing together and laugh together. We bond through our shared experiences rather than our mutual dislikes.

And, of course, I like anyone who comes to Life Clubs this week and works with us on friendship.

See you soon,
Hope you have a great weekend,
Nina

The Wheel of Fortune

2011-05-29T10:08:00.006+01:00

This week's workshop is all about change - ironically the only thing we can consistently rely on - and, in particular about the Medieval Wheel of Fortune, the subject of this week's workshop.

Earlier in the week I wrote a post about the Wheel of Fortune for Brit Mums (one of the Top Ten blogs in the UK), who kindly asked me to be their guest blogger, and, although I also wanted to write a fun post for you here, promptly forgot about it and got on with all the million and one other things I had to do.

My daughter is doing King Lear for her exams, so yesterday we started our play reading, snuggled up by the fire watching the rain outside. Before long, there was our first quote about Fortune: Fortune, good-night: smile once more; turn thy wheel! 'Yes' my daughter casually told me, unaware of how excited I was that my post had just written itself. 'The whole of Lear is about Fortune's wheel'.

Let me just put things straight. Life Clubs is not a tragedy. We are not all going to end up at the bottom of the wheel, suffering. Life is not King Lear. But, as a study in change, the Medieval Wheel of Fortune is worth thinking about.

Why not come along and find it's relevance in your life.
Looking forward to seeing you there,
Nina

How your values can help you find a job - and everything else

2011-05-22T09:21:00.008+01:00

(Not at all a typical Life Clubs image, but it seemed to sum up what a career that doesn't match your values might seem like)

At yesterday's WORK & YOU workshop there were a few people who were worried about their future and what exactly they wanted to do as a career.

It's the kind of decision that affects a lot of us. You're either lucky enough to know from childhood that you want to be an artist or a doctor etc or you're not. But I strongly feel that the less you worry about it and the more you just get on with whatever you're doing at that time, the better. Your dream future will happen - or you'll realise, like one participant - that searching for nirvana is a distraction, so just get on with the job you've got as it's good enough.

This week's workshop is about values. It's called Being You

because your values can help you find this life that is 'you'. Knowing your values may not be able to pinpoint your future, but they can help you sort through your options.

They can also help you work out if a career path is yours or one you inherited from your parents. How important is 'status' and 'money' to you really? How important is 'security' and 'stability'? What's yours? And what's theirs?

If one of your values is 'freedom', for example, it might point to you not liking working for other people. It might make you think that you liked to work outdoors or doing whatever freedom meant to you - flying or scuba diving? It could just mean that you feel restricted by timetables and other people's decisions and need to be the boss. Only you can know.

If another of you values is 'learning', for example, and you're in a sales job, that could still work. It's not as obvious as teaching or facilitating, but by teaching people about the benefits of whatever you are selling you are still honouring that value. However if a value you have is honesty, you'd have to feel that you really rated whatever product you were selling or you'd feel uncomfortable selling it.

Come to Life Clubs this week and find out what your values are and why bits of your life may not be working.

One of my values is 'inclusivity', so I'd love you to be there.

Best wishes,
Nina

Do you know why you're here?

2011-05-14T23:09:00.006+01:00

As this week's workshop is about success and on 21st May we're holding Work & YOU, our one-day workshop all about work and how to make your work life as successful (fulfilling, enjoyable, lucrative etc) as you want it to be, I wanted to let you read the story of someone who came on this workshop the last time we ran it. It's heart-warming and I hope will inspire you to come along to the workshop too.

"In 2001, by the age of 22 I had got my MBA in India and was working as a management consultant in the Health Sector. I’d also been writing poems and short stories and won some prizes so I enrolled myself on a one-year ‘Writing for Performance and Publication’ course in Leeds - I wanted to see the world. It was wonderful. I met my partner, Robin, in March 2009 and decided to stay in the UK with him.

I didn’t have a job to go to and found it was tough to get work. I ended up going back to India for a short consultancy job which used my skills. When I arrived back in the UK in April 2010, again I found it very difficult to get work. I tried temporary work, but even in shops no-one wanted to give me a job. I think employers were hesitant to give work to an unknown, plus I was over-qualified in some ways and under qualified in others - I knew nothing about retail.

In April I went to a Life Club Work workshop. I was nervous about going, but Robin was keen I should attend. I clearly remember an exercise in which I was asked to think about how a tiger would find a job. Lynne (one of the Hosts) asked me what a tiger does. I replied ‘It hunts’. She then asked me ‘What does it do before it hunts?’ and I replied ‘It goes to the waterhole and finds its prey’. By the end of the day I was thinking about how the tiger conserves energy, collects information and then goes for the kill and knew that’s what I had to do if I wanted to find a job.

The workshop gave me lots of ideas and left me full of enthusiasm. Eight months later I’ve got some consultancy work and am also working in retail. I feel much more confident and the effect of the workshop has lasted a long time – it’s stayed with me.

I’ve even been looking at jobs in PR agencies so I can use my writing skills. I’m not giving up. The tiger is watching out, waiting to pounce."

I feel inspired just reading it. Come and be successful too!
Best wishes,
Nina

Asking for feedback

2011-05-06T17:25:00.003+01:00

This was our wonderful stand with my adorable son at the Action for Happiness launch a few weeks ago. Everyone was happy there and last weekend with the Royal Wedding and this week we're running our Rules of Happiness workshop to keep the mood going.

But you can't always be happy and I don't even know that it's something to strive for. I like the balance of things being happy and sad and calm and excitable.

Today I've been having a bit of a sad day and I thought I'd be efficient and ask for feedback to collate and use at a later date. I asked everyone who's been to my Life Club which workshop they liked the best.

I didn't anticipate how much that would cheer me up. I've had lots of lovely comments: "eye opening... powerful... interesting... thought provoking... useful" and on and on.

I'm going to add to my 'rules' of happiness... ask for feedback. You know at least some of it will cheer you up!

Hope you have a lovely weekend.
And do book in to our Work & You workshop on 21st May. Quite a few venues have already sold out.

Best wishes,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs
Author of The Big Book of Me, The Life Book & How To Get What You Want

Royal Weddings...

2011-04-28T10:54:00.010+01:00

When I was young my mother gave me a scrapbook and suggested I create an imaginary family and home and life for myself. I chose Princess Grace as my mother because I thought then (and now) that she was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen and, in case you're interested, I chose saxophonist, Johnny Dankworth, as my father because I thought he looked friendly and approachable (I suppose those were my assumptions about what parents should be like).

My next Royal wedding of interest was Charles and Diana. My assumption then, in my twenties, was, of course, that they would live happily ever after, but how wrong I was.

Tomorrow there's another Royal wedding and I'm not sure what to assume about their marriage. Probably that it won't last, probably that it will be even more difficult for Kate than she realises, probably that they'll want to bring up their children very differently and that that will cause problems.

Let's hope I'm wrong.

This Saturday I'm going to be creating again - not scrapbooks of my imaginary family, but 'Today I Love' postcards at the Royal Festival Hall from 11am-4pm. Do come along if you can.

After all, I may not choose either Kate as my mother or William as my father, but they need all the support they can get.

And so do we all. If you're interested in finding out what assumptions you make and how they hold you back, check out our workshop, Expand Your Mind, this week - come along (assumption-free please)!

See you there,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs

What to do next?

2011-04-25T09:29:00.004+01:00

I've been away from my desk for 11 days and, although I tend to think about work a lot of the time - even when I'm away - I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I get back tomorrow.

In a way it's a wonderful fresh start. I've been able to think about Life Clubs from a distance and get a new perspective, but in another way my mind has gone a bit blank - I'm out of my routine.

This week's workshop, Visual Problem Solving, is a fantastic one. At BAT it was their favourite as it's incredible at problem solving in a really playful way - and, if you're anything like me, problems is a major subject.

Remembering the workshop, I started thinking about how I felt. I realised I felt like a wonderful well-travelled suitcase, a little weary and empty wanting to be full with beautifully packed clothes for my next adventure. The emptiness is the unsureness I'm feeling now and the fullness is how I'd like to be feeling - confident and well-prepared - knowing what to do next.

When I focused on my metaphor and started thinking about how I pack a suitcase I realised how logical and sequential I become. Before I start packing, I think about every possible eventuality and then make a list of what I'm going to take to cover each of those eventualities. Inevitably the list isn't all taken, but it's a good place to start.

Instead of packing a case, I'm planning my future, but what's stopping me being just as logical and sequential as I usually am?

I'm starting my list now...

See you this week. I'm looking forward,
Nina

PS If you haven't booked for our Work & You workshop, I'd go for it now. Taking place all round the country it's a great way to spend a day thinking about what you want from work and how to achieve it.

Too much to do...

2011-04-16T12:41:00.002+01:00

I easily get overwhelmed. I have so many things to do that I don’t know where to begin. I can sit there with my head spinning. There's certainly more than a crossed out 'nothing' on my list.

That’s when this week’s workshop, First Things First, really helps me.

We’ve started using it at work too.

At the start of every day, each of us tells the others the three most important things they’re going to do that day and then we get on and do them.

It gives us focus and moves us to doing what’s important.

Come along to Life Clubs this week and find out how it works.

Looking forward to seeing you,
Nina

PS And do book in for our WORK & YOU day workshop on 21st May 2011. It’s taking place around the country and is for anyone either without a job or feeling unhappy in their workplace. £75 per person, £55 concessions and £125 for two. See you there!

What's my body saying about me?

2011-04-09T22:05:00.006+01:00

I'll let you into a secret. I would love to be asked to give a TED talk. I think they're always interesting, fantastically watchable and thought-provoking.

I hope I can be interesting, fantastically watchable and thought-provoking but, what's more relevant right now, is that I like being on stage talking to a large audience.

Needless to say, it wasn't always like that. I had a lot of help from a great actor coach, Martin Cochrane, to get there and for that I'll always be grateful.

This week's workshop is about body language and that's where Martin helped me the most.

Martin made me watch a film of myself giving a speech. You can see it here (or a shortened version on the home page of our website, here). But before I watched it with him he told me to watch it with a positive mind-set, rather than a negative. 'Don't sit there going 'I'm talking too fast' or 'I shouldn't have crossed my arms' or 'Don't I look hunched over'' he said. 'Instead, I'd like you to tell me all the things you've done well'.

It was revolutionary. I started off by praising the way I'd had a slug of water before actually starting to speak!!! I admired the way I wasn't talking too fast!!! I even liked the way I stood tall as I threw the ball into the audience so confidently!!!

You may not be lucky enough to have Martin by your side, but at Life Clubs this week we promise you'll leave knowing where your body language is holding you back and how to get confident about it instead.

TED... watch out. Here I come.

See you Wednesday,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs and great speech maker(!)

'Frightened' is my middle name

2011-04-02T17:12:00.004+01:00

I'm a great worrier. Not as great as my mum (or even my brother), but pretty good nevertheless.

One of my worries is slipping when I'm on a walk. You may justifiably think 'It's because you're getting older', but actually it was always like this. I vividly remember when I was about 16 and staying with a few girlfriends in a house in Devon. It was beautiful and we spent every day out walking along the cliffs, but even then I was always the slowest - worried that I was going to slip.

If you're slow and careful, I told myself, you won't lose your balance and, of course, I never did. Everyone else would return home from the walk wet, muddy and cold and I would always look as if I'd just gone down the Kings Road for a bit of window shopping.

Of course, I wasn't having as much fun as them because I was just so nervous and uptight. I was fearful of falling.

So, yesterday, out on a walk in Dorset, when my friend suggested we went off the beaten track and down a really steep slope into nowhere I knew or had ever been before, my first reaction was 'No'. My knees started wobbling at the thought of the hill and I felt really nervous of the idea that we might get lost.

This week's workshop, From Fright to Delight, is all about fear so I decided to think delightedly. I flipped my 'No' into a (somewhat tentative) 'Yes, let's have an adventure'.

And I was amply rewarded as in the distance we saw one of the local stunning white deer with two baby brown fawn.

From now on, 'brave' is going to be my middle name.

Come along to this week's club and get rid of your fears forever.

See you there,
Nina
PS Do book in for our highly successful day workshop on WORK. If you've got any doubt in your mind that your career isn't what you want it to be, this workshop is for you - and do tell your friends. It's a tough world out there right now.

There's always another problem to solve

2011-03-26T17:08:00.004Z

... and so often we're trying to solve the wrong problem.

At least that's what's happened to me this week.

The problem I thought I was trying to solve was whether or not my 12 year old son and I should be setting off to Tokyo. He's been wanting to go for 4 years and trying to decide whether or not to cancel our holiday has been tormenting me. You may think it's mad that I was even contemplating going to Japan in a week's time, but they are trying to get back to normal life there and seeing tourists is certainly a first sign of normality, so it feels a supportive thing to do.

Everything is up in the air. Japanese family friends we were going to be staying with are not going to be going, but an indomitable American friend is still going, so I've been feeling very torn.

As this week's Life Club is all about problem solving (Key Steps) I thought it would be ideal for me to use it to solve my problem. So, not less than 10 minutes ago, I sat there with the questions (sadly on my own rather than with a buddy inspiring me) and worked through them.

Of course, I was barking up the wrong tree.

The question is not whether we should be going to Japan, but how can I give my son the most fantastic time in those 8 days in which we were going to be going to Japan? What could we do to help him forget that we're not going to go?

My problem was solved and I now feel happy and resolved.

Legoland here we come..!

We all have problems all the time and so often we're not even putting our focus on the real problem.
I look forward to seeing you at Life Clubs this week.

Best wishes,
Nina

Best Life Ever

2011-03-20T08:23:00.007Z

It's been a tragic few weeks and it seems decadent to be thinking of what could make our lives even better when so many have been, and are, suffering. But who know what will happen in our lives and so it's important, not decadent, to take the time to make them as good as we want them to be.

You've probably all read Steve Jobs excellent Stanford University speech in which he talks about how he uses death to think about what he wants from his life: 'I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?"'

That's a great way to think about each day, but to my mind life doesn't have to be that passionate every day. It's fine to have 'OK' days as well as 'great' days. What's important is to know what you want to fill those days with.

Someone came to my club last week talking, almost embarrassedly, about having the problem of too much time to fill. Some came up with the contrary 'Lucky you, I've got too much to do', but I think we all know that feeling of the day stretching out ahead and no idea what to fill it with.

This week's workshop is about finding out what makes you unique. What it is you love, what it is you'd do on the last day of your life and what keeps you going on those empty days. We look forward to seeing you.

And, referring to another part of Jobs's speech in which he says: 'I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.'

Have you bought tickets yet for our Work & YOU workshop on 21st May? It's from 10-5 and is taking place all around the country. If you want to feel like Jobs, I'd suggest coming along. Find your nearest venue and book now. Tickets are moving fast...

Best wishes,
Nina

Alone at last...

2011-03-12T11:11:00.005Z

This week's workshop is about the stories we tell ourselves, so I've been particularly interested in the stories I tell myself about my past, my present and my future. I can get stuck in an 'I had such an unhappy childhood' or 'I'm no good at anything' or 'my future is going to be rubbish', so when my close friend, Annie Lionnet (host of Frome Life Club), came round last night and offered to do my Tarot Cards I said 'Yes' as quick as a shot.

If I'm honest, I don't know what the big deal about Tarot Cards is at all, except that they're a great way of starting a conversation and telling a few stories.

We spread mine out on the table and Annie (the expert) looked at them in a rather confused manner and said 'I don't know what to make of them at all', but as she started explaining what each card symbolised it was totally clear to me.

Right now I'm fighting dragons and gathering a team around me to fight more of them. The first tentative coins of our toils are coming in and I'm starting to see a calm sea stretching out from the turbulence I'm in. Ahead there's success - lots of sheep and a family to leave my legacy too. So it's all very exciting.

But the card that puzzled Annie the most was The Hermit, sitting at the top marking my future. 'Yes' I told her excitedly 'That's my future'. Once I've succeeded in my mission of making the world a happier, better place, I can rest and be quiet with those I love. It fitted in perfectly.

Right now I'm very visible and trying to become more so. But watch this space. Once I disappear, you'll know I feel I've done what I wanted to do.

Stories are everywhere and within and without us. Come along this week and find your internal Tarot Cards - and how easy it is to weave a good plot or two.

And do hurry and book for our Work & You workshop. Places are selling fast. Do tell your friends if you know they're troubled at work or want to find a career they love.

Hope you have a great weekend,
Nina

We are all stars

2011-03-05T21:31:00.008Z

We'll win tonight is good for starters, but looking through the paper today I came across a couple of headlines I rather fancied adopting myself:

The first was:
Always (the race horse) is on right track to success and the second:
Why Micah Richards should be lauded for finally fulfilling his early England potential.

In my mind I rewrote them easily, substituting my name for the original:
Nina is on right track to success or even:
Why Nina should be lauded for fulfilling her potential (I know... I got rid of a few words on the second one, but they didn't seem necessary).

It may sound 'sad', but I felt good writing those headlines down - and even thinking them. Try it... substitute your name for mine and see how it feels.

Headlines are very powerful and they're the topic of this week's workshop. They're a great way of finding out what you really want your goal to be and they're inspirational.

Just a few moments ago my headline was Nina writes her blog post in record time and look, now I've done it.

Let's try it again...Thousands rush to Life Clubs workshop!!! More Daily Mail than Guardian I know, but just as effective. Come and join us and feel inspired.

See you there,
Nina
PS Don't forget to book for our Work & you workshop on May 21st. It's in conjunction with Psychologies Magazine and will be totally brilliant.

I love people who say 'No'

2011-02-27T00:28:00.010Z

I remember vividly when Katharine Hamnett said 'No' to Mrs Thatcher. It came across loud and clear. Maybe a bit obvious, but wouldn't I like her as my PR?! Oh yes!

People who say 'No' are effective. They respect themselves and so it's only fitting that you respect them too. They demand it. Do I hold it against them that they won't baby-sit or come shopping with me? No, I don't. I may curse them under my breath or momentarily resent their decision, but ultimately they get my vote.

Am I like that? Sadly not. I tend to say 'Yes' to other people and then regret it and - although a slightly different sort of 'No' - I find it hard to say 'No' to my feelings of under-confidence and jealousy which can sometimes leave me unable to do much except feel inadequate.

This week though I'm feeling excited as we're working on saying 'No' at Life Clubs. I'm going to come to my workshop wearing no signs of inferiority whatsoever and if anyone says 'No' to attending I'm just going to respect them for it.

Having said that, I look forward to seeing you there, saying 'Yes' to changing your life!

All best,
Nina
PS Don't forget to book for our workshop on Work & you in association with Psychologies Magazine. It's on 21st May in venues around the country and booking up fast - though sadly Katharine Hamnett isn't doing the PR. Read more about it on our website.

I'm all over the place...

2011-02-20T11:36:00.005Z

It's Sunday and yesterday I was told by my Kundalini Yoga teacher (how good does that sound?!?!) that I was unbalanced and way too creative and all over the place and it would be good if I focused more on my Seventh Chakra and relaxed!

As this week's workshop is on focusing, that sounded a reasonable idea.

Instead of just sitting down at my laptop and trying to remember all the millions of things going on in my mind and wondering which to focus on doing, I thought I'd write a list of all the important things I have to do, go through it speedily and then relax.

It was easy to write a list - though needless to say it wasn't as short as this one - and I decided to just get going and then have breakfast with my husband, whenever he emerged.

An hour later he appeared and, although I'd been hard at work for that hour, I noticed I'd been doing a million and one things none of which were on my list.

Focusing - whether on what I'm doing today or what I'm doing with my life has always been a difficulty and yet I know I'm only fully satisfied when I'm doing one thing at a time and have a plan.

Come along to Life Clubs this week and enjoy finding out how you can focus and then ... (whatever it is your yoga teacher wants you to do)!

See you soon,
Nina
PS Do book now for our Work & you workshop in association with Psychologies Magazine. It's on May 21st in venues all over the country and (believe it or not), some focused people are already booking now! Be one of them.
PPS In case you wondered... writing my blog was on my list!!!

Perspectives shift

2011-02-12T12:52:00.003Z

Don't ask me why (lazy morning? relaxed? stalling for time? or probably a combination of all three), but I spent some of this morning reading my diary entries for 2007. (To quickly put you in the picture, these aren't personal entries about my gorgeous children, lovely husband and ideal life. No, these are work entries, charting my thoughts and actions around Life Clubs).

There is probably little as revealing as seeing from your current perspective who you were when you first penned those words. And, imagining yourself four years ago and looking at your current self from that four years ago perspective is also pretty tell tale.

Readers, I am a wiser woman now than I was earlier today.

I've realised some good things about this 2011 perspective. I am definitely wiser, more realistic and more ambitious than I was four years ago. I don't feel as alone - I now have my little team around me. I have proof that Life Clubs is great and that makes me more confident and clear about what I'm doing. And, of course, we are more successful than we were.

But so many things haven't changed. I've still got my optimistic 'Tigger' bounce. I still enjoy finding connections in everyone I meet and everything I do. I still love options. I still don't focus enough.

So, what advice would my 2007 self give my 2011 self right now? I think it would be 'get out of bed and enjoy the sunshine and stop worrying - just look how far you've come'.

That sounds like a good, clear instruction to me. I'm going to take it.

This week's Life Clubs workshop (week of 14th Feb) uses perspectives to see all the good stuff that's already within you. It's fantastic - do go along - bring your Valentine!!!

Happy Valentine's Day for Monday. I'm buying myself a beautiful bunch of flowers - tulips, my favourite!

In association with the Southbank Centre we are creating postcards for the Royal Wedding with the theme... 'Today I love...'
Please send any postcards in that theme to 3, Smith Square, London SW1P 3HS, England and check out our website for inspiration.

See you this week,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs

He who hesitates is lost...

2011-02-06T08:15:00.006Z

This week, although surrounded by green 'go-ahead' lights, I started noticing everything I was procrastinating on (probably because our workshop this week is on procrastination).

I realised that although I was getting on with lots of things, I was avoiding anything to do with banking, phone calls (the usual) and, yes, my mother.

I hadn't seen my 95-year old mother for a few weeks and was definitely dragging my heels about seeing her. There was a fear there, which I hadn't noticed before, but I couldn't work out what it was.

Yesterday, out of the blue, my 18 year old daughter said she'd like to do an art project on my mum and I found myself overwhelmingly moved. Somehow the idea that my mum would be captured forever in an 'A' Level project was very poignant and my Lightbulb Moment was that I really dislike the overwhelmingly sadness I feel when I see her as she is now.

Ursie, my daughter, and me went to visit my mother yesterday and I decided to embrace my sadness and tell her that I was already missing her. With her dementia, she isn't my mother at all, but more like a 2 year old grand-daughter, but with none of the joys of growing and developing in front of her, just those of death. But my comment about missing her, delighted her and we had a lovely few hours together.

See you this week at Life Clubs when we'll be exploring the three reasons for procrastination and how to get past them. Read more about the workshop here.

Love Nina x
Founder Life Clubs

What makes a good question?

2011-01-30T22:36:00.004Z

This week's workshop (week of 31st January) is about asking questions that make you think.

Let's give it a go... What would it benefit you most to think about?

I remember last year when I was working at Feltham Community College with the Year 10s (14 year olds). A little unsure - I'd never worked in a school before, I decided that the most important thing I could do right at the start of the lesson was to make them realise that Life Clubs was not going to be like anything they'd known before. I started the first lesson by going round the room asking each of them in turn what they really enjoyed doing and why. Needless to say, there were a few that thought it amusing to say they 'didn't know' in answer to my questions, but the rest said that no-one had taken an interest in them like that before.

They were right. We often don't take an interest like that in ourselves and others either. We tend to ask each other the same questions: 'When's supper?'... 'What's on telly?'... 'What are you doing tomorrow?' We don't ask 'Do you feel like cooking supper tonight?' or 'What could we do instead of telly?' or 'What would make tomorrow special for you?' Instead we settle for the familiar.

Life Clubs questions are inspirational and thought-provoking. They help you work out what it is you already know, but might not be focusing on. And, like with most subjects, there are the standard questions and the fun ones.

What I really enjoyed today, is that walking round the Ashmolean Museum in Oxford there was a question (only one) that could have been written by Life Clubs...

If you were to decorate your own coat of arms, what animals would you choose?

I don't know about you, but I'd have an eagle.

See you this week at Life Clubs. Is there anything that could stop you coming?
Nina
Author of How To Get What You Want

Out of my comfort zone

2011-01-23T10:48:00.003Z

I went way out of my comfort zone this week and it felt scary...

A few years ago I ran a series of workshops at the drinks company, Diageo. They were a hit, we got wonderful feedback, everyone felt calm and energised at the end of them and I met a group of lovely people.

Quick flashback...

So, here's my secret... I have never had 'a job'.

Well, that's not strictly true. I worked for Electra/Asylum and CBS Records in Los Angeles when I was in my early twenties in the art department working on album covers (such fun), but since then I've always been self-employed.

When I created Life Clubs seven years ago, I never imagined the workshops being used by corporates and now, even though Life Clubs has been run in lots of corporates who have all loved the workshops, there's still that fearful little voice going round in my head saying 'What do you know about the life of someone with a job?', 'How can you bluff it with an HR person and say you understand their problems?' 'Stick to what you know'.

As our workshop of 24th January is all about those beliefs we have about ourselves that limit us, I decided to take action. I met the lovely man who came along to all my workshops at Diageo and asked him what I could do about getting repeat business after all that lovely feedback.

He welcomed me with open arms and, the moment I left, emailed two members of the HR team and the lady who ran the Women's Network introducing Life Clubs with effusive praise.

Don't sit (like me) waiting for three years for the phone to ring, just make that call. Leave your comfort zone for pastures new.

I went way out of my comfort zone this week and it felt scary... and wonderful!

See you this week at Life Clubs to work on your beliefs.

Hope you're having a great weekend,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs
PS If you're in a wonderful relationship, are over 25 and have been together for more than 18 months, please do answer this sex in relationships survey ... thanks.

Planning ahead

2011-01-16T10:12:00.004Z

I've been surrounded by people this week talking to me about strategies and asking me if I had planned what I wanted to happen in the next two years, so it felt as if last week's club about planning ahead was very relevant.

I know that if I plan ahead it makes everything easier. It makes it easier to say 'No', easier to focus and easier to feel calm.

Today's my birthday and I've got a lovely plan for the day. All the family are going out for brunch and then off to see The King's Speech. Two things I want to do that I'm really looking forward to. I'm just waiting now for some of the teenagers to wake up so I can open my presents!!!

Today's a simple plan just for me, but most of my plans are much bigger. I know I can feel as if my plans are overwhelmingly large and I don't know how to tackle them. Those plans can seem to cover all aspects of our lives and often we don't really know where to start.

Next week's club is all about planning and how to make it simple. We'd like you to know every day what you're doing - just like I do today - but to have an overview so that each day builds on the next. All that in 90 minutes!

I'm saying 'No' to writing more today because of my plan. Hope you all have a great day too - over here the sun is shining.

All best and see you at Life Clubs,
Nina x

Happy New Year...

2011-01-09T11:16:00.004Z

I want to wish you all a Happy New Year. I hope this year is healthy for you and brings you a wonderful, balanced life.

I don't know what New Year resolutions, goals, decisions etc you made for yourself, but last week's Life Club workshop (our first of the New Year) was all about you and what's important to you. What relaxes you? What sustains you? What gives you pleasure?

This picture used to be me (only with grey hair)! I love my work and you could often (well, slight exaggeration, occasionally) find me slumped over my desk in exhaustion. Last week I decided to change all that and go to bed as early as I could every night without my laptop but with a good book or even (serious treat) a film. Sleep before midnight is, I've been told, the best.

The week has been wonderful. I've been in bed most nights before 10.30 and, most of them, I've even been asleep by then. I watched 'Toast' one night (thoroughly enjoyable)'Bleak House' another (riveting), read an old diary another night and the others I just dropped off nice and early. I feel great.

I'm not a great believer in resolutions, but this week's workshop brought home to me how important it is to treat yourself well. I make sure my children get enough sleep, so what about me? Why don't I look after myself as well as I do them?

What would you do differently if you were looking after yourself as well as you look after others?

Next week's Life Club is all about finding out what you want in your life over the next two years. It's about discovering what's important to you from the past and present and weaving those things into the future - just by drawing circles. I've already done my circles and am feeling inspired.

See you there.

Hope you're having a great weekend,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs
Author: The Big Book of Me, The Life Book, How To Get What You Want

What were your 10 Best Things of 2010?

2010-12-31T17:00:00.006Z

Anyone who reads my bulletin, forgive the repetition. For those of you who don't read my bulletin, this is a taster. If you'd like to sign up, click this link

Thanks so much for your loyal support in 2010.
As you’ve shown an interest in Life Clubs I thought you might like to know the 10 best things that happened to us/me in 2010. I’ve written them (more or less) in the order in which they occurred.

Life Clubs 10 Best Things of 2010
1. Our website: David Eldridge of Two Associates designed our gorgeous website for us and it was launched in the first few weeks of January. I was fond of our last website too, but we love this one as it’s so simple and easy to use.
2. The Life Book: Also in January we held a launch party for the publication of my first book of the year, The Life Book, which all the Hosts and a lot of our friends attended. It was also my birthday, so a double treat for me. Plus Florence (without the Machine) arrived late and danced with us.
3. NHS: We met Judith Mohring, a consultant psychiatrist working at the Chelsea & Westminster Hospital, who instantly saw how Life Clubs could help those with mild to moderate mental health problems. Together we won a bid and next summer we will be working together in the Central & North West London Mental Health Foundation Trust offering early intervention for those with depression, anxiety and other problems.
4. Macmillan Cancer Support: Our Life Clubs Intensives (one-day workshops) raised money for Macmillan Cancer Support and helped sponsor Lynne Irwin, who ran the workshops with me, to walk along the Great Wall of China. The days were great fun and we’re going to do more in 2011.
5. Corporates: We started our corporate breakfast-seminars this year and they’ve been great fun. Already those who went to earlier breakfasts are returning with colleagues and showering us with work. If you’re interested in Life Clubs for your company, look here and invite yourself. We are happy to organise these breakfasts in other parts of the country too if you can provide the venue.
6. My Best Thing Today: Everyone always loves the way we begin each Life Club (What’s the best thing that happened to you today?), so we decided to start a website for you. We’re getting about 500 hits a day already and have had lots of publicity. Do send us a postcard too.
7. The Work Programme: We were approached a few weeks ago to help with bidding for The Work Programme. Having worked with many unemployed people, we know Life Clubs works and can’t wait to see the results.
8. How To Get What You Want: My second book, How To Get What You Want, was published in the Autumn. It’s my first book for young people and I really enjoyed working with families at The Cheltenham Literary Festival and then in Feltham Community College with the Year 10 children.
9. Twins: Many years ago, Bill, a financial whiz, came to Life Clubs. A few years later, on his recommendation, Claire, his banker wife, started coming to my Westminster Club. This year, everyone at the club has watched Claire grow larger and larger. Her final club was the week before she delivered the first Life Clubs twins. Max and Mimi are gorgeous and we’re looking forward to them coming to Life Clubs too.
10. Me: Getting personal, my best thing of 2011 has been, as usual, my family. This time, my youngest son, Tommy, who I spent five weeks in the South of France with when he was appearing in a film, Mother’s Milk. It was a treat being able to get to know him so well and to spend so much time alone with him. If I have a regret it’s that I never did it with my other three. Oh, oh… I feel a goal for 2011 coming on!

We’ve also been so lucky this year in all the people we’ve met. We’ve met new Hosts, new Clubbers, new corporates and have had a variety of wonderful people in our Base Camp in London. Of course, the ‘old’ friends are brilliant too and I also want to thank everyone who has been involved in Life Clubs for longer. It couldn’t happen without all of you.

I hope you all have had a wonderful break and I wish you the very, very best for the next year. Check our website to find out when your nearest club is starting up.

Do let me know all the good things that have happened to you. I’d be so grateful.
With best wishes,
Nina x

How to relax at Christmas

2010-12-18T15:39:00.005Z

Yes, it's only a few days away from Christmas and so this week's workshop was all about relaxing.

Relaxing is something we do too little of at Christmas. We become perfectionists and feel under pressure to do everything perfectly.

We make lists of who we have to send Christmas cards to and then see the job as a 'chore' rather than, as one of my corporate clubbers so beautifully put it, connecting with others. We worry about when we'll have time to make the mince pies rather than just relax eating bought ones. We feel overwhelmed by everything we have to do instead of enjoying the moment.

There's just too much pressure!!!

What we do in my family is to each choose what we want Christmas to be about. We get two hours each to have just as we want to spend it.

My husband likes going for walks - that's a lovely long one whilst the sun is still out after lunch.
My eldest son likes watching a DVD he's got for Christmas. That's his two hours.
My eldest daughter likes dancing. That's two hours of mini disco for her and anyone who wants to join in.
My younger daughter likes acting. That's two hours of reading a play with all the family.
My younger son likes playing games. That's Monopoly for him.
And I like it when we all sit quietly around the Christmas tree watching the candles on the tree light up the room and listening to carols.

Our Christmas treats can take three days to fit in. I do mine on the 24th to set me up for Christmas, my husband his on the 26th and so on...

What's important is that Christmas is exhausting if you don't take it easy. So choose what you want from your two hours, now!

Happy Christmas to all of you and I hope you all have a wonderful 2011.

Love Nina x

Work/Life Balance (or is it Life Balance?)

2010-12-09T18:32:00.005Z

This week at Life Clubs we were contemplating the balance in our lives. A good way of doing this is to see what takes up your time and whether or not it's what you like doing.

At the moment I'm not having much of a life balance. One thing I love doing is seeing my husband and yet we're both working too hard. He hasn't worked this hard for years and it's making me work much harder as I can't see him.

I realised this Life Club that what I want to have is a theme for my week which will stop me working - even if I can't see him. It's totally obvious that my theme for the week will be Christmas and so this week my balance is going to be Christmas (rather than work) focused.

I'm buying presents, sending cards, planning meals. Now, how efficient is that? And, it's so much fun that I don't miss my husband quite as much!!!

Five ways to achieve your ideal life balance

1. Having goals (once you know what you want you will automatically prioritise your time accordingly)
2. Focusing will stop you getting distracted and procrastinating (no need to multi-task, just focus)
3. Book in time for everything you want to do – put it in your diary
(from an evening with your partner to time for you to be spontaneous)
4. Getting support (so you don’t have to do everything but can delegate – even if it’s to the children)
5. Make use of time saving devices (keeping favourite recipes together and directions of other’s homes)

Check what's taking up your time. If it's something that really you could do without, see if you can't do less of it.

Think of your life as made up of these stunning colours. Which would you like more of in your life? And how will that be possible?

All best wishes,
Nina

Two bits of exciting news:
1. Do your Christmas present shopping on our website - we have partnered with magazines (Psychologies, Elle and Red) and my favourite, totally natural soaps - fantastic presents at knock-down prices
2. Life Clubs has it's first cover story - January Easy Living magazine!!! It's called Life's Simplest Joys: we defy you not to smile when reading this. Yeah!

and what takes up our time. In my case it's definitely my computer

The three types of problems

2010-12-05T11:23:00.005Z

Dear All,

I don't know about you, but there are some things I find incredibly difficult to write about.

One of them is procrastination. Just thinking about procrastination makes me procrastinate. Writing the Life Clubs workshop on procrastination took ages and ages and preparing to run it is something I always leave to the last minute.

Another subject I find difficult to write about is problems and knowing that I had to write about them for this post has just added to my problems.

This week's workshop was all about stress and the problems we have.

In the workshop we divided up our problems into three groups:

1. Those problems which will eventually go away anyway so there's no point in worrying about them
2. Those problems which you can't do anything about - other people's
3. Those problems which you can solve

Once you've found that you can solve your problem, there's then nothing but (you guessed) procrastination stopping you.

Please forgive me, that's a gross simplification of problems, but you get the idea. We often worry about things there is no need to worry about.

I've been spending the last few days thinking about some of my domestic problems and decided that even though they're so bourgeois I'm going to tell you about them. I worry about what I'm going to cook for supper this week when friends come round. I worry about what I'm going to buy everyone for Christmas (and when). I worry about how I'm going to stay calm when all our visitors arrive over Christmas... and on and on.

I don't know if any of you have noticed, but as I was writing them down my Lightbulb Moment was that all my problems will all have gone away by January 1st (see 1. above), so I'm going to stop worrying about them now.

Phew. I can breathe again...

What do you worry about..?

This week's workshop (week of 6th December) is a wonderful workshop about the choices we have in our lives. If you're working too hard, not working hard enough, not sure if your life is in balance, come along. I look forward to seeing you.

And, if you haven't already, do check out our new website, mybestthingtoday. It's getting 800 hits a day which is absolutely amazing.

Hope you have a great week,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs
Author The Big Book of Me, The Life Book and How To Get What You Want

Getting creative...

2010-11-26T12:25:00.005Z

This morning both my husband and I woke up at 5.30 (well, I probably woke him if I'm really honest). We had a lovely chat and he decided he'd get up and start the day and I decided I'd stay in bed and think about what I was going to write about creativity (last week's workshop) in this, my blog.

What happened... I dropped off to sleep. Not that I got bored thinking about creativity or anything like that - it's my pet subject - but I was tired and, although my mind was engaged in an interesting 'does it have to be original?' internal discussion, my body had other ideas.

I woke up with my alarm a few hours later and have had the most creative of mornings.

My number one hint about creativity is sleep. Although it's romantic thinking of great ideas in the early hours of the morning it really only works if you can have a lie-in the next day. Creativity comes easiest with an awake mind.

My number two hint is stop worrying about whether or not you're being or feeling creative. The moment you start relaxing and taking care of yourself the creativity will come.

My number three hint is forget being original. Even Marie Antoinette noted that there weren't many original thoughts still to be had. Just be yourself.

It's Friday and the postman has just delivered all the photos I ordered last weekend - now for a creative treat...

Next week's Life Clubs workshop is all about stress and worries. We explore how to solve them so you can leave the workshop feeling lighter. See you there - come burdened!

Hope you have a great weekend,
Nina

What motivates you?

2010-11-19T09:25:00.007Z

Staring at the hopscotch board is a metaphor for what's going on in our lives.

Sometimes we're afraid of just taking that risk - of getting onto the first square. It's new... it's out of our comfort zone... it's scary.

But sometimes we're afraid of the routine of being on that hopscotch board. We can worry that once we're on it, there's no getting off. That our lives will be filled with monotony, drudgery, tedium.

I fit into the latter category. I love jumping on hopscotch boards and starting new things, but keep me doing the same thing for longer than a few minutes and I'm feeling bored.

So, how do I (or how will you) get motivated - either to start playing hopscotch or to carry on with the game?

This week at Life Clubs we found our motivational tools.

There are many ways of doing that and each of them brings up different results, but try this one now.

Think of all the things you've done since childhood, whether it's fishing or being friends with your best friend. Then work out what's made it so easy for you to keep doing those things.

You can apply the tools you find to each area of your life.

Two of my motivational tools are fun and freedom. If I've got to do something I don't want to I make it fun:
...I play some music
...I do it in twenty minute chunks
...I use different coloured pens... and so on

Find your motivational tools and use them to move you forward... and keep you going.

Next week at Life Clubs we're going to be discovering our creativity. I can't wait!

Hope you all have a wonderful week,
Nina
PS Do check out our new my best thing today.com website. It's getting 500 hits a day. Please send us a postcard.
PPS Visit us on facebook.

Close that computer!!!

2010-11-12T19:51:00.004Z

This could well be our kitchen table - only it's not quite that big.

We have almost got a computer each now and instead of talking we all sit there with our laptops hammering away and chuckling to ourselves.

Just occasionally one of my children will say to another 'Come and watch this film on youtube', but they might not even bother getting up and going over to watch it together - they might just send each other the link.

We're in our own little worlds. Not literally in the garden shed/garage pottering away (as our parents might have been), but isolated from whatever is happening in the real world. My six open desktop windows are my world and different from each of their open windows.

This week's workshop was on listening and it made me conscious of how isolated we all are. I made a determined effort to talk to people away from my computer - to clear the screen when I was on the phone (instead of multi-tasking) and even got quite cross with my poor husband when he tried to talk to me with his laptop open.

Conversation is not yet dead. Or at least I hope not.

I'm going to stop writing this now and go and have a conversation. I suggest you stop reading it too!

Hope you have a great week,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs

What's the best thing that's happened today?

2010-11-05T13:39:00.005Z

This week's workshop was about mirroring and how what you notice about others is all a part of you too.

An easy way to demonstrate is by looking at our mybestthingtoday.com website. I look down the postcards and each one makes me smile. Some with a feeling of recognition... waking up back home is definitely the best thing about today (that's just how I felt coming home from France after five weeks) and some just with a how lovely for them kind of feeling... having drinks out of jam jars at a vintage cocktail bar with my best friend (oh yeah!).

Their happiness is changing my mood. I'm becoming a mirror of their joy. And that feels great.

Thanks to all who have so far shared their best thing with us and thanks to all of you who'll do so in the future.

Hope you all have a great weekend,
Nina
PS Do buy The Times tomorrow. I've got an article in it about improving children's confidence (all ages covered).

How Can I Change?

2010-10-28T19:31:00.005+01:00

It's been a bit of a rough week. Someone who has worked very closely with me for the last ten months is leaving. I always knew he would, but it has happened almost from one day to the next, and, though I'm delighted for him, I'm sad for me. I'll miss him and the role he established for himself within Life Clubs.

When he first told me I just felt sorry for myself. I wanted to curl up and lick my wounds. It means stepping up enormously and both Tommy (11-year old son) and I have been feeling ill in one way or another since we returned from France. All I felt was overwhelmed by what I have to do, taking on both of our roles (at least for the time being) just seemed an enormous task.

And yet I knew I had to change so that I could make everything I want to happen, happen.

I always find when you know something has to be different that you need outside help in some way and, thankfully, I fell on my feet. My good friend, Annie Lionnet, (Frome Life Clubs Host, best-selling author and astrologer) was staying with me when I heard the news.

Now, you may not believe in astrology, but at the risk of sounding like Nancy Reagan, let me tell you how Annie helped.

She looked at my chart and said that although she could see that although everything was changing around me, I was changing too and that, at least for the next month, I was going to be overwhelmingly energetic. What a wonderful thing to hear - and at just the right time.

That's why I love astrology. Call it the placebo effect or call it science, I don't care. Suddenly I'm buzzing. I know I can take on the world. Just being told that I'm going to be more energetic, I instantly feel better, more focused and very dynamic.

I'm jumping and the water isn't as cold as I thought it was going to be.

This week's workshop (as you probably gathered) was all about change.

Next week at Life Clubs is one of my favourite workshops - a great trick to help you boost your confidence every time you admire someone else. We call it Mirror, Mirror.

If you haven't already bought my new book, please do so. How To Get What You Want, is a terrific present for anyone about to leave school, college or university - and grab a look of it before you give it away.

Hope you have a wonderful week.
My best wishes,
Nina

Build in surprises

2010-10-22T09:49:00.007+01:00

This week at Life Clubs we were thinking about our homes and how they can restrict us and expand us.

Home is very relevant to me right now because my 23 year old son is about to leave our home, I suppose for good.

It's not the empty nest syndrome, because as you probably know I have three more gorgeous children, but I'm going to miss him enormously. He's very special and (I think) we get on really well, plus I've lived with him for over a third of my life so he's an important part of it. All in all, it's very sad and I've been trying to spend as much time as I can with him. Michael likes to come home from work and flop, so spending time has involved watching TV with him - something I rarely do. One of the programmes we watched this week was Grand Designs.

I was very impressed. There was this stunning thirty year old interior designer doing what I've always wanted to do, namely build herself a lovely house in Cornwall near her mum. She looked as if she was having a great time in the mud and rain (and sun) watching her dream take shape, but by the end of the programme I realised it wouldn't be my dream home - it was just too predictable.

In my time I've built walls and moved rooms around and I know I like to build in surprises. My wall has a little stone fountain built into it and my rooms have hide and seek passages through the wardrobes from one room into another. I like to feel magic and the possibility that anything can happen.

Having discovered that, I'm going to think more positively about my son leaving. I'm going to keep open the fact that he might come through the front door on the odd evening and surprise us or even that I might go and stay the weekend with him.

How have you coped with children leaving home? Any tips?

Next week's workshop is all about change. Now that feels pretty relevant too.

All best wishes,
Nina
PS Talking about children leaving home - if you have one, do buy them a copy of my book How To Get What You Want. A perfect leaving home present.

Finding Your Talents

2010-10-15T12:11:00.008+01:00

Both this week's workshop and my talk at The Cheltenham Festival were about finding your talents. The children (and some of the grown-ups too!) who came to The Festival workshop were brilliant - they knew they were talented at sport or being a leader or being creative, but those in my Westminster Life Club were much more dubious.

I don't know about you but I could tell you exactly how brilliant everyone I know is and what they can do really well, but when I used to think about myself I didn't know what made me special.

It was the same in my club. Although my clubbers had written down that they loved adventure and creative writing and all sorts of other things, they just couldn't believe that that meant they were talented in those fields - and yet I believe it does.

Malcolm Gladwell in his book, Outliers, puts forward a very strong case for needing 10,000 hours of practice in order to be really good at something, and I would agree - talents don't come overnight - but each clubber had identified their passions and it's those passions that make you unique and can be turned into talents with just a bit (10,000 hours!) of practise.

One of my passions is colour. When I was a small child I used to ask to be taken to the local department store so I could admire the carpets displayed so stunningly (just look at those reds!). As I got older my favourite present was always colouring pencils and now we call rooms in my home after the colours they're painted (the purple room... the red room... and so on). Just look at the Life Clubs logo - that too shows my love of colour.

You may not call colour a 'talent' of mine, but that's really just semantics. All I know is that without colour I feel bereft.

What are your 'talents'? Or, if you prefer, the things without which you feel bereft? Don't be modest!

Hope you have a great weekend,
Nina
PS I was at The Cheltenham Festival to celebrate the publication of my book, How To Get What You Want. Do have a look at a copy - it's fun.

How to learn French

2010-10-07T16:54:00.006+01:00

My 11-year old son and I are about to return home to the UK after five weeks in Provence. It’s going to be strange leaving – we’ve become used to being alone together, used to the sun, used to being looked after and used to the company we’ve kept whilst he's been making the film he's in (Mother's Milk, based on a novel by Edward St Aubyn).

The reason this post is all about him is that I've been so impressed with his mature and responsible approach to acting and his role. He's been on set all hours - never complained, never messed about (although once or twice he has got the giggles) and been a wonderful actor too (yes, I'm biased).

In terms of accountability (the topic of this week's workshop) he's never let himself or anyone else down. He’s acted to the best of his ability. And he’s drawn too. He's filled more pages than I can count with stunning drawings that he's done to help him relax in the evenings. He’s also been really good at all his schoolwork and done everything he has to do. There’s just one thing that has let him down and that’s, ironically, his French! Tommy has no interest in learning French at all – not even here, in France.

This week’s workshop, Getting It Together, was all about how you can take what makes you accountable in one part of your life and apply it to the rest. Thinking about Tommy it made sense not to give him hundreds of French words to learn, but just to let him relax about speaking French and do it of his own accord, like he does his drawing.

And it’s worked. Bien sur!

We’ve been accountable to you this week at Life Clubs. Do visit our new website as you can now buy online.

And, if you’re free, come to the Cheltenham Literary Festival on Sunday with your family and hear me talk about How to get what you want.

Looking forward to meeting you,
Nina

Worrying for the world

2010-09-30T11:53:00.003+01:00

This week's workshop was about what you're doing too much of and this week I'm worrying.

Two nights in a row now have been spend fretting over such little things that I'm almost embarrassed to talk about them.

...where we are all going to sit at supper... how I'm going to feel when I get back to the UK... how the balance in our shared house is going to change when my family arrive... when I'm going to have time to write this blog... and on and on.

If I was worrying about - or could indeed effect major changes in the world it would be one thing, but I feel so trivial just lying there tossing and fretting about nothing. Somehow those major changes don't appear as thoughts at night, it's just the little niggling things that pop up to stop me sleeping.

We all do too much of things. Some of us sleep too much, others spend too much, yet others love too much.

What are you doing too much of right now and what are you going to do about it?

Tonight I'm going to write all my worries down before I go to bed and hope they stay away until tomorrow.

Sweet dreams,
Nina
PS If you'd like to know more about excess, do sign up for our bulletin.
PPS If you want to stop me worrying whether anyone is buying my book(!) please do buy a copy.

Change your mind

2010-09-24T13:46:00.005+01:00

Yesterday I changed my screensaver (or desktop as they seem to call it on my mac). I found it quite traumatic. From easy to read files on a black background I've ended up with rather difficult to read files on a white background (but photo I took in a wonderful restaurant in London) and wondering whether to go back to the original picture.

If I found that change difficult, can you imagine how I must feel about changing my mind.

Last week's workshop was about using your mind to give you more confidence, so instead of having those 'I'm rubbish at life' thoughts going round in your head, you've got an 'I am great' thought.

And, I'd like you all to know, that I did achieve that. Changing my mind worked for me.

At a particularly low phase of life I decided I wanted to feel more confident. I settled on a very simple sentence 'I am confident. I can do anything' (no point at this stage in being modest!)

This is what I did:
* Every time I saw a mirror, I repeated my sentence looking at myself directly in the mirror and smiling.
* I did this first thing in the morning, last thing at night and whenever I saw a mirror in between.
* I said it once only, but with enormous conviction.
* At the same time I took some Confid drops (Australian Bush Flower Essences) and dropped them on my tongue twice a day.
* Expected things to change by the time I'd finished the bottle.

But it all happened very quickly - before I'd even finished the bottle.

I can't promise it will work for everyone and I certainly feel under-confident (or at least have under-confident moments) now just like anyone else, but it made an enormous difference at that particular period in my life.

So, change your mind and give it a go.

Next week's workshop is all about the things we do too much of. If you'd like to tackle your under-confidence that way, come along. Or anything else you're overdoing for that matter.

See you there and please, do buy a copy of my new book, How To Get What You Want. I think it's great (that's how confident I am!)
Nina

Use your dreams to get what you want

2010-09-16T11:12:00.005+01:00

There’s something magical about acting. I can see it in my son’s face, he has an extra dimension to him when he’s acting. An expression that isn’t usually there. It’s dreaming yet focused – both at the same time.

Listening to the actors he’s working with, I can hear how precarious their world is. It’s a lurch from one job to the next with long periods of no work and no money.

And yet there’s that beckoning of stardom.

We all have a beckoning. Something in our life that we love, that’s special for us. Something that we want to achieve.

This week’s workshop was called Holding Your Dreams and was about visualising that thing we want most and allowing our fantasy to help us make a realistic, practical plan.

I’m currently visualising my new book selling out.

Using this visualisation I know that I want to find any groups of young people be it in universities… schools… youth clubs… orchestras… anywhere. I see I need to find large groups of parents too, maybe also school teachers. I want great reviews on Amazon and in Waterstones. I’d like a big splash in any media possible.

If you want to help my dream, do buy How To Get What You Want for anyone you know between the ages of 15-25 – and have a look at it yourself before you give it away. You may find you want an extra copy.

My best wishes,
Nina x

Stop wasting time…

2010-09-09T20:18:00.004+01:00

My 11-year-old son is one of the main characters in an indie movie (you asked, it’s a film of Mother’s Milk, Edward St Aubyn’s wonderful book) and we’re in the South of France for filming. ‘All right for some’, I hear you say. Well yes… and no. Yes, it’s really beautiful and yes, today was lovely and hot and yes, we’re staying in the same house as the stars of the film (former crush, Jack Davenport) and the stunning Annabel Mullion and meeting lots of other ‘famous people’ and being involved in a really fun project…

But no, because there’s that niggling little work ethic I have that keeps on letting me know in no uncertain plans that actually I’m wasting my time.

This week’s workshop was all about ‘streamlining’ - organising your life so things run smoothly and right now I’m having to reassess the way I work, which is usually so simple and, yes, streamlined.

Analysing it, there are a couple of things that are making it really difficult for me:

1. Waiting
Tommy and I are constantly waiting. Waiting for the sun to come out, waiting for the crew to be ready, waiting to know what he is doing next. You all know what a lengthy business filming is and how difficult it is to slot work in-between the spaces available. It’s a matter of having to be prepared at all times.

2. Interruptions
I’ll just get started on reading this book (as you asked, it’s Executive Presence by Harrison Monarth) and after about half a paragraph something will happen or someone will say something that makes it impossible for me to continue. And then I’m back reading the paragraph all over again. Or I’ll start writing and, again, something will interrupt me.

But not one to give up, I’ve been racking my brains and I think I’ve found the solution. I’m not going to do anything for most of the day. I’m going to relax and enjoy the experience and realise that this is a once in a lifetime treat. And then, come the evening, I’m going to work for a couple of hours flat out and achieve all the solid graft that’s really urgent for me to achieve right now. I think that sounds like a plan.

That’s me no longer wasting time. What about you? How are you going to cope with everything that stops you moving forwards?

Talking about moving forwards… if you haven’t yet bought a copy of my new book, How To Get What You Want, do it now.

If you want to know more about Life Clubs and all the topics we cover, do join our bulletin or come to one of our clubs.

All best wishes from France,
Nina

Treading on eggshells...

2010-09-02T22:49:00.005+01:00

We've just done our feedback workshop (Telling It Like It Is) and it made me realise two things:

Firstly: yet again I've realised just how difficult it is to give feedback. It's wonderful when you can first practise your feedback on a stand-in guinea pig (like in the workshop) but when you plunge straight in, like I tend to do, you can break hearts.

Secondly: I noticed just how many of us want to get things off our chest. At the club there was a group of lovely people and each one of them had something they really wanted to say to someone else. It could have been a rift they wanted to heal or a situation they no longer wanted to be part of. But there were a lot of unspoken feelings floating around that room.

What would you like to say to someone but have been so busy treading on eggshells that you've never said it?

And is that something you'd like to say for their benefit... or yours?

There's a fun cartoon in my new book How To Get What You Want (£9.99, Walker Books, out on Monday!!!) all about feedback. Do buy it for anyone you know and love who is between 15 and 25. And, whilst you own it, check out if you wouldn't rather like it for yourself..!

Hope you have a great weekend,
Nina
PS Been asked by Psychologies Magazine to ask you if you'd fill out their quiz. It takes five minutes and a chocolate hamper could be yours!!!

What are you wearing..?

2010-08-26T21:18:00.007+01:00

It was easy when I was three. I didn't care what I wore or what I looked like. I know I was beautifully dressed because I've been told - my mother had been waiting to have a child for so long that I'm sure she lavished the finest clothes on me that she could afford, but I had no idea that all this was going on.

The first time I remember becoming aware of clothes was when the nurse asked my brother if she could have my brother's wonderful beige, fringed cowboy jacket when he grew out of it. Of course, we didn't realise she was being silly and it would never fit her. We were so young we genuinely thought she wanted to wear it. I also thought then and there that it must be quite a special jacket for a grown-up to want it.

But, even then, it was many years before I really cared about what I wore.

Now I care. Recently I've been getting nervous about what to wear when I go into corporates. Having done little but write for most of my life I haven't come face to face with the corporate world before and have been feeling that I don't quite know how to 'fit in'. And yet, armed with this week's workshop, Presenting Me, I've been wondering why I even bother. Plus each business has its own special look.

Some are very crisp. Everyone seems to be wearing stripes and tailored jackets. Others are more flowery and individual. Some sport killer heels whereas others are in flat, sensible shoes. There seems to be no overall theme, just lots of different branches.

I'm just going to be 'me' from now on and let them work out who this grey-haired woman in T-shirts is. Or, better still, forget about what I'm wearing and just converse.

Do you dress for yourself or to fit in with your organisation?

Next week's workshop is all about giving and getting feedback. It's had great feedback(!) each time we've run it.

Why not buy an advance copy of my new book, How to Get What You Want, for nieces, nephews, grandchildren, god-children, friends or even... dare I say it... yourself. It's coming out next week!!!
All best,
Nina

How energised is your body?

2010-08-21T08:49:00.005+01:00

At Life Clubs we were running a workshop on energising your body and so this week I joined Michelle Obama and did my first three day vegetable juice detox. My friend and Frome Life Clubs Host, Annie Lionnet, came round with her liquidizer and we juiced.

It would be a stretch to say that at first I felt energised, because I felt exhausted. I spent most of the afternoon of day one asleep or reading. But I did find the experience liberating and, ultimately energising. A few things I learnt:
* I was never hungry (that was a Lightbulb Moment) and therefore how much too much I usually eat
* After each meal/vegetable juice I felt l could turn a somersault and feel fine. I'd consumed just the right amount
* I never woke up the next day with a 'lead lump' in my stomach knowing I'd eaten too much the night before
* The bags under my eyes lessened - maybe from drinking so much water and vegetables
* Suddenly I had about 3 more hours in the day - no cooking, washing up, chatting around the table (and, although I missed the latter, we chatted elsewhere)

Annie is wonderfully creative, and concocted brilliant combinations of vegetables using liberal amounts of raw ginger and, sometimes garlic. I didn't even mind having them for breakfast - though I thought I would.

I can't recommend it because I have no idea whether it's really a good thing to do for one's body or not plus I was lucky had someone with me who had done it before. All I can say is that for me it really worked.

Next stop... buy a liquidiser.

Next week's workshop is all about presenting yourself to everyone - from a job interview to a new friend. Come and discover your strengths. I'm looking forward to it.

Hope you have a drier weekend than we're having,
Nina
PS Do order a copy of my new book How To Get What You Want. It's almost out!!!

So... what do you want to do with your life?

2010-08-13T09:54:00.005+01:00

You know those films that come out and you miss them and, although you pine for a while about having missed them, you ultimately forget about them and get on with your life.

Good Will Hunting was one of those films. I'd forgotten all about it until this week when my daughter bought it from the fete and we watched it together and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

The most powerful bit, for me, came when the hero was being forced to think about his future and what he wanted from life. He found it difficult and I find it difficult. Especially in this current climate where, as an entrepreneur, I am being forced to keep changing my direction to go where the money is.

I've had a week of thinking about my future courtesy of Life Clubs. At the club we discovered our future just by drawing circles and trusting our intuition and this, coupled with Good Will Hunting, got me focusing on my goals for the next six years, although I know that they might have to change at any time should they fail to work.

My new book How To Get What You Want starts by helping you find out what you want. Although it's aimed at young people, I know a few adults who might find it useful... Me for one.

Good luck with discovering what you want to do with your life. Let me know how you get on...

Next week at Life Clubs we'll be energising our bodies. Now that can help you decide lots of things.

All best,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs

Oh gosh... are you as vain as I am?

2010-08-06T09:05:00.005+01:00

This week's Life Clubs workshop was all about shapes and using metaphor to understand ourselves better.

And, the way life in Base Camp (our headquarters) echoes each workshop is that this week I have literally changed shape. This isn't about the diet, see below, (though it has been working), it's because I didn't heed the words of my dentist to have my tooth out. No, I told her I wanted to wait until it really needed to come out and, of course, I got an abscess and have had to have the tooth removed anyway (painful!)

It's not that I'm vain enough to think I'm the most beautiful person ever, but I realised just how vain I was when my son said 'put a picture on your blog of how you look now, Mum', because I am totally out of shape. I didn't want to show that 'out-of-shape Nina' to you, I wanted you to see my normal jaw line - something I always prided myself on - and imagine how it has swollen up beyond belief and understand that I am not myself - physically or mentally.

When we're out of shape in any way it makes us feel different and even unhappy. We want to hide away and lick our wounds. Now, what can I do to get back in shape and bounce around in the world the way I know and love?

All best wishes,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs
PS If you live/work in Notting Hill Gate and are interested in being in a TV series about the area, come to our Life Club on Monday in Ladbroke Grove if you're interested in being in the series (great publicity for any local business) and want to help us publicise Life Clubs.
PPS My new book, How To Get What You Want, looks great. Do have a preview peek.
PPS Next week's Life Clubs workshop is all about finding out what you want from your future. It's easy, fun and unbelievably revealing. Without thinking about it, you will know what your future will look like. Come along and find out. Click 'Now' (the pink post-it above) to find out more... and about following weeks.

How thin am I?

2010-07-30T16:39:00.004+01:00

Being one of those 'I don't want to see skinny role models - my kids need to eat properly' type of mothers, I never thought I'd be blogging about dieting.

But suddenly everywhere I look I read about obesity being worse for our children than skinnyness and, as this week at Life Clubs we were thinking about ourselves from the outside in, Genevieve and I decided to go on a diet.

It's been five tough days. We are two women who love our food and then some. But for the whole of this week our plates haven't looked this dissimilar from the photo - except that instead of arranging our vegetables quite so beautifully on our plates we eat them. We walk around clutching our hungry stomachs and feeling like Julia Roberts... suffering.

But watch this space. Just give us a few months and we'll look like Julia too.

Next week is a brand new workshop, What Shape Am I In? It's not to do with diets, it's to do with metaphor and is great fun.

See you then,
Nina
PS First copies of my book, How to Get What You Want, have arrived. They are fab. Hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

Does The Secret work?

2010-07-23T11:15:00.004+01:00

This week at Life Clubs we were discussing money.

Gosh. It's a fascinating subject, all the more so (quite possibly) because usually we don't talk about it. It's as if once you start you can't stop and so we chatted and chatted and chatted.

One of the things that came up was about the best-selling book, The Secret, and whether just by focusing on money you can create it. I'm afraid I haven't read it, but I've seen a bit of the film and know the general idea and have talked about it a lot with friends - not in terms of attracting money, but in terms of attracting a partner.

So, what did we decide. Does The Secret lead on nicely from last week's post in that just wishing for something will make it happen..? Sadly not.

With money and partners and anything else you want, sadly you can't just wish. Or you can, but you can't instantly expect that wish to come true.

What you can do is a lot of emotional work on yourself (which is what we were doing in the club) and then focus. And, if you focus and focus enough on what you want, your wish may well come true - just by the sheer persistence, confidence and awareness you're putting into it.

So, be absolutely clear on what exactly you want, believe that you can get it and focus on it.

And then, let me know what you've bought with your new-found money!

Next week's workshop is about self-image. Find out how your external self is stopping your internal self. Fascinating.

See you there - hope you have a great weekend,
All best,
Nina
PS These are wishing notes on a wishing tree
PPS Life Clubs has just had it's first wedding. To read all about it, click on the heart.

What would you wish for?

2010-07-16T16:17:00.003+01:00

I was having an interesting conversation the other night about stories in which people can wish for things. Aladdin may have got it right, asking to keep the genie, but so many others got it wrong.

In this story (which you may well know), the couple used up their three wishes by asking for i. a sausage, ii. the sausage to be stuck to the woman's nose for having been so stupid as to wish for a sausage and iii. the sausage to be removed from the woman's nose.

I was told about a story in which the heroine, when granted one wish for her unborn son, asked that he be loved by everyone he met. As you may imagine, the consequences were appalling. He became an impossible and unpleasant character.

Just how much easier would it have been if they'd all been asked what they didn't want instead of what they did?

Sausage lady's three wishes might have been i. to never want for food again and ii. to never row with my husband again. Maybe there'd have been no need for a third wish - can you think of one?

Next week at Life Clubs we'll be thinking about money. Maybe her third wish would have been to never have to worry about money again.

See you soon and have a great weekend. My genie's taking me to Hove for a sing song! I wish I could sing in tune.
All best,
Nina

When will the English grow up?

2010-07-08T18:57:00.006+01:00

You know how when you're walking the streets you hear the greatest conversations.

The other day I was privileged enough to overhear this classic remark: "The trouble is that the English won't grow up!". How wonderful I thought.

Our workshop this week was all about creativity and how to become more creative.

Guess what. Creativity is about not growing up. It's about being silly and 'childish' and letting anything happen. And it works. At my club people were having Lightbulb Moments solving all sorts of problems by brainstorming how a washing machine could help them.

These 'childish' English people have produced some of the greatest creative thinkers in my lifetime. I've danced and cried to the Beatles singing all sorts of things, including 'Obladi Oblada' - and if that isn't 'childish' I don't know what is. I've watched Branson revolutionise air travel (and lots of other things besides) and at the same time nearly kill himself being 'childish' and now I'm sitting with my ipod designed by Jonathan Ive who certainly comes up with some child-friendly products.

I'm thrilled the English won't grow up. There's enough other nations who have - or, at least, who think they have.

See you at Life Clubs next week.

We're going to be growing up a little and designing our future by working out what we don't want. For a list of more of our topics, so you can plan your diary, look here.

Best wishes to you all,
Nina

Books or mind or both?

2010-07-02T08:49:00.006+01:00

To me this messy bookshelf looks divine. Inviting, intelligent, a little chaotic and definitely worth looking in as you might find a treasure. And yet, this week, we were hosting a workshop on decluttering, so it's not really appropriate for me to eulogise about mess.

Our office, before this week, looked a little like those shelves and part of me loved it. It feels like there's always something to discover. It made us look a little human and homely rather than stiff and anal. After all (and this is how I try and persuade myself) we're a soft, fuzzy business, we should have a soft, fuzzy workplace.

But this week we set to work. Each folder was removed from the shelves and brought up to date. Each piece of paper was found a home or binned and we even filed away all our computer documents on dropbox (our new favourite toy).

Gosh. Does it feel good. We've had a fantastic week with interesting meeting after interesting meeting. I'm now convinced I've opened a space in which more creativity can happen rather than less. We're all skipping here.

How's your decluttering going??? Is it your books you're getting rid of or the mess in your mind?

Good luck - just don't throw any my way.
Nina
PS If you're a top tips kind of person, have a look at mine on work/life balance here
PPS If you're a facebook kind of person, do 'like' our page
PPPS Next week's workshop is on creativity. For a look at this month's workshops, click here.

How jealous are you?

2010-06-25T10:00:00.004+01:00

I sadly wasn't at our workshop this week, but I heard it had fascinating results.

It was all about relationships and those friends and colleagues and family members who drive you mad in some way or other.

It made me think about my relationships and how they work. I remembered recently feeling slightly frustrated listening to someone I knew. They were having a great time, talking and talking all about themselves to a large crowd - all of whom were laughing and joking. In my mind this acquaintance didn't leave any time for any of us listening to say a word and I started feeling oppressed and cross with her and, needless to say, with myself.

But as I sat there getting twitchier and twitchier, I had my Lightbulb Moment.

Of course, the reason I was feeling so frustrated with her, was that I wanted to be her. I was jealous that I couldn't be the one talking about myself and laughing and joking with an adoring crowd. She'd got there first and, yes, was better at it than me.

Watch out for those mirrors... and that green-eyed you.

Hope you have a lovely weekend in the sun,
Nina
PS If you haven't already, do 'like' us on facebook.

What to do? Laugh or cry?

2010-06-17T22:52:00.007+01:00

Or maybe both...

Today was a bit of a bluesy day. Our workshop this week was all about confidence and I, for some reason, decided to feel under-confident. Sadly I didn't have a Life Clubs Host with me to ask me what the advantages were to feeling so under-confident, so I just decided to have a bit of a wallow.

I don't really like wallowing for long and the one thing that I know will cheer me up is a visit to the Tate Gallery, so I asked my eldest daughter if she would come with me.

As you can see, we had fun. This picture just cried out for some interaction. We started by screaming as in 'You make me... scream', went onto crying 'You make me...cry' and then decided to laugh 'You make me... laugh'. Results here.

What do I recommend for anyone feeling under-confident (apart from a trip to Life Clubs)?
seeing art
making art
laughing
being with a friend
...not necessarily in that order.

I'm now on a roll. Hope you are too.

Have a lovely weekend. We're going to do some more making art. What will you do?

Nina
PS A Daily Express journalist came to our day workshop last Saturday and loved it. Read her description in The Express on Monday.

You've got to have friends...

2010-06-11T10:42:00.004+01:00

My week was all about friendship this week.

On Monday night I went to Sheffield to open the Life Club there and met Hilary, the Host's partner, Grae. A fellow public speaker, at first the two of us skirted around each other like a couple of dogs, curiously (but cautiously) sniffing each other out not sure if we wanted to really bond. And then something happened and we both suddenly relaxed and really enjoyed each other's company. Or, at least, I really enjoyed his.

What that brought home to me is how long it can take to penetrate through to the bit of someone you're going to like. We have so many guards and defences up that often we don't just confess our fears and feelings of inadequacy straight away which, let's face it, is often the interesting bit. Instead we're so busy trying to show off our beautiful blue feathers in true peacock style.

Together Grae and I went to Hilary's Life Club, which was great. Hilary is warm and intelligent and fun and the club threw up my next Lightbulb Moment, which was that I'm not everything I ask for in a friend.

I love friends who are kind to me and say nice things to me and yet I'm not sure I'm that good at giving compliments. I'm sometimes too busy to really notice how someone else is looking or even what they're saying and if I do notice, I can feel awkward about saying something positive - always feeling I've missed the right moment to say it.

So, from now on, I'm going to be honest and say the nice things I'm thinking. And I'm going to slow down enough to notice just how great everyone else is looking.

I'm going to start off with thanking you all so much for reading. I don't know what I'd do without you.

I hope you have a lovely weekend,
Nina
PS I'm running a workshop on Wellbeing tomorrow. A couple of places left. It's in Westminster, London. If you're free, do come. It's going to be great.

Hands up anyone who likes change

2010-06-03T23:35:00.009+01:00

I'm not an historian, but when I came across Fortune holding the Medieval wheel of change I could immediately relate to it and it inspired this week's workshop on change.

I'm don't know about you, but I don't always find change easy. I've been using a different laptop to work on this week (my usual one is being sorted) and even that has me with writer's block. So, big changes, like going on a diet or moving house are totally out of the question.

And yet change is actually OK once you start and that's what made this wheel so successful in my eyes. Change is like being thrown around the wheel. There are no shortcuts. You may start off at happiness (12 o' clock), but then you feel dreadful (that's you in loss at 3 o' clock), then even worse (that's you suffering at 6.00 o' clock) and then, finally there's hope (at 9 o' clock) before you return to happiness.

Of course change is worse when you're not in control. When it's not a diet that you want to do, but a friend who has dumped you or a parent who has died. But, even when it's something you want to do, change is always tough.

Having created this (for me slightly unusual) workshop based on something Medieval, I loved reading how Helen, one of our Life Clubs hosts bought this workshop totally up to date. As she said:

The Medieval Wheel of Fortune reminds me more or less of the much more recent SWOT analysis.....
happiness = strengths,
loss = threats,
suffering = weaknesses and
hope = opportunities
Awareness of these four when considering change can only be positive.

No doubt if Fortune had been aware of contemporary business speak she would have thought of change in the same way.

I'm going to think of my diet in terms of SWOT. What else is my despair for a chocolate mousse but a whole lot of weakness?

Hope you're enjoying the sun and that we'll see you at Life Clubs this week,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs
PS Do sign up for our bulletin if you haven't already
PPS If there isn't a club near you, come along to our all day workshop about you and your wellbeing on Saturday 12th June in Westminster, Central London. From 10-5 and only £75. Lynne and I are running the club for free, so half your money will be going to support Marie Curie. See you there.

Do you know what your values are?

2010-05-28T08:42:00.011+01:00

I don't very often get my own Lightbulb Moments when I'm hosting a club, but I did on Wednesday (which was very exciting!)

We were taking it in turns to read through a list of values to see which ones could be ours. I know cleanliness is one of mine... and honesty... and courage... but when we got to the word 'responsibility', that's when the penny dropped.

My home is very messy. I am messy, my husband is messy and all four of my children are phenomenally messy. A typical morning goes like this ... 'Where's my homework diary?'... 'Where's my bus pass?'... 'Where are my trainers?' and on and on and because I'm messy I don't know either.

So I started to think about that word 'responsibility' and what it means.

I know I am absolutely trustworthy. I am one hundred per cent dependable. I am really reliable, but I'm not good at duty or taking on 'roles', such as that of 'tidy mother'.

What's happened, I suddenly realised, is that because I'm not responsible, I haven't passed on 'responsibility' to my children and this is the outcome... chaos.

Gosh, values are helpful. As my diary for Wednesday said 'You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself'. Maybe I've finally grown up. Let's see how responsible I now become.

What do your values tell you?

All my best wishes for a lovely long weekend (if you're in the UK),
Nina
PS You've been wonderful about voting for us in the Barclays competition - do carry on... click here.
PPS Come along to our final day workshop - in Central London on 12th June. It's a Life Clubs Intensive in aid of Marie Curie charity and it's all about you and your wellbeing. The other two were brilliant, I'm sure this one will be too. See you there.

You don't have to get drunk in order to succeed... or do you?

2010-05-21T09:49:00.003+01:00

This week's Life Clubs workshop was all about success. I haven't chosen this picture because of David Cameron's success, or even Nick Clegg's for that matter, but keep reading and you'll find out why.

Success is one of those bizarre words (or maybe all words are like this... green, happy, tyre?) that means different things to different people. But one thing most of us seem quite clear about is that you don't really understand success until you've experienced failure.

What's wonderful is that they're often linked.

I remember I used to get really despondent when I failed at something. I felt depressed, beat myself up and generally got into a funk. It took a friend of mine to turn it all around and ask me what I was learning from each failure to get me to see things differently.

Now I relish failure because I can see it as such a helpful learning for what not to do next time. We had a party on Wednesday for members of the HR community and I was running up and down the stairs for more coffee - learning: get a thermos - and on and on it goes.

So, back to the picture. It's all about my son who, in his teens, went out drinking one night and dropped off to sleep on the last bus home. It was a long walk back contemplating his failure, but as he got to Lambeth Bridge and looked at the sun rise over the river (we live near the Houses of Parliament), he thought how beautiful London was and how lucky he was to live here. He found the success in the failure.

Enjoy finding your success. And, I hope you enjoy this Monet. Oh the success to be able to paint like that.

All best,
Nina
PS Our relationships workshop was a wow!!! If you'd like to come to the last workshop in this series - in aid of Marie Curie charity - do let us know now. It's all about YOU and fast booking up.

Screw your way to happiness

2010-05-14T18:23:00.004+01:00

I didn't mean to be so provocative, but I was having a great conversation today about happiness (our workshop of the week) and the title just popped into my head.

In our conversation we were talking about how it was little things that make you happy and I was remembering how my 11-year old had just bought the Dr Who Sonic Screwdriver he'd been saving up for.

Of course, he brought it home for someone to help him put the batteries in. They were, needless to say, in the most awkward of positions and we managed to break the battery holder whilst doing it. But the problem was finding the right size screwdriver to undo the screws.

We searched the house high and low and then, there, in (of course) the tool chest, was the tiniest little screwdriver - just the one we wanted.

Happiness was finding that screwdriver.

The person I was telling my story to, replied wisely and said 'Isn't solving a problem what makes you happy?'

So, I'm going to leave you with that thought. What would you say made you happy?

Maybe it's that provocative screw we mentioned before.

All best wishes for a lovely weekend. I'm running a workshop on relationships on Sunday and meeting prospective Hosts on Saturday. What could be better?

If you want to come to the workshop, get in touch (nina@lifeclubs.co.uk).
Nina
Founder Life Clubs

Election Fever making an Ass (of) u (and) me

2010-05-07T09:44:00.006+01:00

This week's workshop was all about assumptions and, yes, I assumed the British electorate would vote differently from how they did. I'm now assuming that it was a knee-jerk 'Let's get Labour out' that caused the swing to Tory, rather than to Nick Clegg, who somewhat stole my heart.

Of course I also stayed up too late when I really could have gone to bed because nothing happened last night except a few (rightly) disgruntled wannabe voters were having problems voting. I assumed by 1.00 I'd really have a good idea what was going on, but when I went to bed the assumptions were that it was going to be an overwhelming majority for the Tories, whereas instead... how the potential mighty fell in a few hours.

Politics is all about assumptions, but so are our lives. We assume so much about who we are and what we can and can't do and how our lives will pan out. I assume I'm not going to understand what exactly a hung parliament is going to mean for us. I assume I'm bad at understanding what the different political issues of the election really are. I assume I don't know what the effects of a double-dip recession will be for us. And all those assumptions stop me even trying to understand. I leave it to 'others'.

Thinking positively, I'm going to assume you'd like to know about our workshop on relationships. It's on Sunday 16th May in Westminster, Central London. It costs £75 (almost all money to Marie Curie as Lynne and I are giving our time for free) and is for anyone who wants to either get on better with their partner or find a loving relationship. Do come along - it'll be great.

And now, let's assume that we'll all have a wonderful day and that David Cameron will stand up, dust himself off and get it together.

See you soon,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs and author The Big Book of Me and The Life Book
PS Photos taken this morning!

What's your drawing say about you?

2010-04-30T08:44:00.006+01:00

This week I've been feeling like a little mole under a huge pile of leaves.

Totally overwhelmed with 'stuff' and no time to sort it out.

My wonderful five extra days of holiday in Madrid have taken five days out of my day-to-day life and I just haven't had time to catch up with those missed days. It's a peculiar and slightly bewildering feeling. Maybe the little mole wants to hide away.

If I think about what I'd like to feel like, it's more like these beautiful, calm leaves. I don't have to be handmade or embroidered, but I'd like all my leaves flat and pressed and in nice labelled piles so I'd know what they all are: invoices, ideas, articles etc etc.

This week's workshop was all about how metaphors make it so easy to solve your problems.

Now all I have to think... how am I going to get from that pile to those nice, flat leaves in the quickest amount of time?

I know. I'm going to ask for help!

What do your pictures look like?
Hope you have a lovely long weekend,
Nina
PS Our Workshop on Work was FAB. Look at the pictures and join us for our next Workshop on Relationships. Anyone can come - in a couple, single, problems with colleagues, children etc etc. It's on Sunday 16th May in Westminster, Central London.

Getting it together...

2010-04-22T11:08:00.005+01:00

Whenever I see people poring over their time management matrixes I either panic and instantly feel disorganised or I get overwhelming feelings of jealousy and wish I was as organised as them (or, more likely, I get both feelings simultaneously).

I'd love to be organised and, up to a point, am, but something always lets me down at the last minute. I can tidy up the bathroom cupboard and make wonderful shoe boxes entitled 'tummy', 'colds', 'skin' - you get the idea - but somehow I always end up with three things that just haven't got a home. There's definitely something about finishing a task that I don't like - there's always that bit of spillage afterwards.

So this week at Life Clubs we worked on organisation and how to have three goals a day you're going to do. It's a simple technique and enormously useful and all it takes it you knowing what your day is going to consist of (or what you want it to consist of) and making those three things your goals - let's face it... you'll always find time to check your emails.

Yesterday, my three goals were to get home from Spain intact, to run my club and to spend a bit of quality time with each member of my family as I hadn't seem them for 10 days. I think I more or less got there.

Today my three goals are to move my team at Basecamp forward (haven't seem them for 3 weeks!), to let you all know about my wonderful workshop on Saturday (all about 'Work' and all profits from the workshop go to Marie Curie charity) and to have a nice lunch with a mum I used to know who has just started working round the corner at Burberry.

What kind of a lovely day is that?

What are your three goals of the day?

See you soon,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs

Following can be good

2010-04-15T08:50:00.005+01:00

This week's workshop was about body language and, as I was talking to one of my heroes, my 11-year old son, I asked him what he thought would be a good illustration.

Now Tommy has a few crazes at the moment. Those of you who have been following my blog, already know about Dr Who (though who in the UK at the moment isn't an addict?) and Bionicles (those weird Lego robots), but the one you may not yet have heard about is Men In Black. Yesterday he watched Men In Black 2 and so he filled me in on the latest:

'Mum, in Men In Black, they meet these aliens and in order to befriend them, they start dancing the way the aliens dance.'

How good is that for an example?

I had a similar experience when I was in Tobago on holiday many, many years ago. It is a stunning country, but walking the streets and smiling at people, saying 'Hello', I felt a bit of hostility. No-one smiled back.

After a while, I decided to do what anyone else would have done and stop smiling and start observing. It was then I noticed that when one Tobagonian met another, they didn't smile, but instead lifted their hand up slightly from their thigh to say 'Hello'.

Like Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones, I decided to copy the body language of the people I wanted to be friendly with. Each time I met someone, I casually raised my hand a little from where it was hanging relaxed.

Oh Yes! Suddenly I belonged.

All I can say is... it was a great workshop and I had a great holiday.

What experiences do you have of using your body language to fit in? Just let us know.

I hope you have a great week.
See you at Life Clubs,
Nina
PS Our Work workshop is filling up with lovely people. It's in Westminster on Saturday 24th April and Lynne (my fabulous HR) and I are giving of our time to raise money for Marie Curie. It's £75 and it's for anyone who is working too hard or not working hard enough or not enjoying their job or not sure what they want from a career. It's going to be fab. Five Life Club workshops in one day ... intense! Book now.

Blow your own trumpet

2010-04-09T09:05:00.006+01:00

My mother always used to say that those who show-off get more out of life. I'm not sure that that's a general rule, but it pretty much is.

Yes, I know we're all brought up to be modest and self-effacing, but where does it get us?

My fear has been around setting up my own website. 'I don't need a website' I've been saying to myself. 'It's not about me, it's about Life Clubs'. But, the other day, Genevieve, my wonderful right-hand, googled me and told me straight that the link between Nina Grunfeld and Life Clubs is tenuous and I have to have my own website in order that anyone who reads about Nina Grunfeld in the papers can be directed to Life Clubs.

In my mind there was my mum and there was Genevieve, but in my heart I felt fearful. What was I going to put about myself? How was I going to show off about myself? Do I say that I'm the best or do I make a bit of an apology about having a website?

This week's workshop was about fear (and very appropriately timed it was too). Before I started writing my website I imagined myself to be that show-off and feeling both delighted and successful. And then I wrote.

The wonderful result has just gone to my great designer (David Eldridge, who created the Life Clubs website and all my books to date) and will from there go to my lovely web man who will make it all real.

So, watch this space.

And, whenever you're feeling fearful, just imagine how delighted you'll feel having done it what you're dreading doing, and do it. Or, think of my mum and go for it.

Besides... what's the worst thing that can happen?

All best wishes,
Nina
PS Do come to my day workshop on Work. It's for anyone who wants more from their work. It's on Saturday 24th April, from 10-5, in Westminster, Central London, costs £75 and is in aid of Marie Curie. Both Lynne and I who are running it are giving our time for free.

How do you solve a problem like..?

2010-04-02T12:31:00.005+01:00

Last week we were problem solving at Life Clubs. We use a wonderful 'mnemonic' called (needless to say) LIFE and, when you've worked through it you've solved your problem.

Possibly the most powerful question to ask is 'When did I succeed in solving this sort of problem before?' because it comes up with all sorts of positive answers and can make you realise that maybe you're trying to solve a problem that isn't the one you really want to solve.

One of my clubbers wanted to be able to meet someone - if you like - be ready for a relationship. And, as she came to that question she had her Lightbulb Moment that really she wasn't ready for anyone, because the previous times she'd met new people and started a relationship, she'd been feeling really good about herself and deeply creative and happy - and she wasn't now.

What a great new problem to solve... how to get creative. This week she's signing up for all sorts of creative courses and I can't see how anyone she meets could fail to fall in love with her.

My problem is often thinking about what to write. I love writing once I settle down to it, but what to say..? When I asked myself that powerful question I realised that ideas always came to me when I relaxed. So... check me out on the sofa in my pyjamas!

Let me know what problem you've got to solve and if that question helps.

Happy Easter to everyone. Next problem... where will the Easter bunny hide his eggs if it's raining?

What a lovely problem to have.

All best wishes,
Nina
If you'd like to know more about problem solving - or anything else that goes on at Life Clubs, do sign up for our bulletin.

What's Your Best Life Ever?

2010-03-26T09:06:00.008Z

So often we moan about our life - and why not? Of course, things can be happier, or more fulfilling, or calmer or more rewarding or even more three-dimensional.

But isn't the best time just lying down under a beautiful sky, listening to the birds, feeling the sun on your body and smelling the grass or the sea. When you're in the moment?

I started writing this week's Best Life Ever workshop when I sadly wasn't lying down under the blue sky, but sitting at my desk and confronted with a jar of broken biros. Each pen I pulled out to write something with was broken and had to be thrown away. Grrr I thought. In my best life I'd have a jar full of pens that worked.

That thought surprised me. What a simple request. How easy to fix is that?

Keep aware of your life. Notice when little things annoy you and sort them. I'm not suggesting that the underlying sadnesses most of us have - such as abandonment, betrayal, jealousy, lack of confidence etc etc - are that easy to fix, but if the lid is on the toothpaste and there's a clean cup in the cupboard for our tea and there's a pen that works, we're pretty darn close to having an ideal life.

Now I'm grateful for every pen that works. And, this weekend, I'm going to find some sun to lie in.

If you're lying down and looking at blue skies, do you want to moan?

Hope you have a wonderful weekend,
Nina
If you'd like to get know more about your best life, sign up for our bulletin

Sleepy

2010-03-19T08:58:00.005Z

Oh, I both wish I could look like her and I wish I could be doing what she's doing.

This week we used stories at Life Clubs to move ourselves forward. I've had a very busy week - both during the day and at night (exciting). I love going out and ... although I was shattered ... my daughter and I danced the night away last night, so today I'm truly exhausted.

I know, it's Friday and I've got the weekend ahead of me, only I haven't. A lovely friend of mine (who looks more like the pre-Raphaelite lady in the picture than I do) has booked us both in for a course this weekend. I'm sure I shall really enjoy it because I love courses, but it's an 8.15-6.00 course on both Saturday and Sunday and right now I feel all I want to do is spend the weekend in bed.

As a story, that might be a little bit like the red shoes ballet. I feel I'm wearing these red shoes that won't let me stop... not even for a moment.

As a story, how could that end?
...I could cut the shoes off - or maybe even my feet (if I had to)
...I could tie myself down so I couldn't move
...I could blindfold myself so I didn't feel so dizzy
...I could wake up as if I was in a bad dream

Any other ideas... please let me know.

How can that translate into reality?
...Cutting my shoes off could mean that I felt so ill this weekend I couldn't go anyway
...Tying myself down could be going to bed today as soon as my last meeting is over
...Blindfolding myself could mean wearing dark glasses today to protect my tired eyes
...Waking up might mean saying 'No' to the weekend

I think I'll go with tying myself down!!!

Stories are great to help you detach from the problem you have. They give you another perspective on your life.

Have a go and let me know.

Hope you all have a great weekend - are you on a course too?
All best,
Nina
PS Book in to Life Clubs weekend courses - they'll be fab.

Why sports?

2010-03-12T08:54:00.004Z

This week's Life Clubs was all about writing headlines in which you star. I scoured the newspapers from top to toe to find examples of the kind of headlines I hoped clubbers would write, but there was nothing there. Doom and gloom was all I could find.

I decided to look in the sports pages - not my natural habitat - and there, thankfully, I found just what I wanted.

Henman the man as LTA sifts the rubble of Vilnius
Nasri spectacular and Bendtner hat-trick sweep poor Porto aside

Gosh. How would that make you feel to have those headlines?

(Put your name here) the man/woman...
(Put your name here) spectacular...
(Put your name here) hat-trick...

Excited...? Successful...? A star...?

But why wait til you play professional football? You can do it now.

Create the headline you want.

As one of my clubbers wrote. (Put your name here) writes her way into a new career...

Just go for it. Let me know the headline you came up with.
See you this week,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs, author of The Big Book of Me and The Life Book

Lucky is saying 'Yes'

2010-03-05T06:48:00.008Z

I was so lucky. At my Life Club this week was one of my favourite mentors, Jane, who just turned 80 this year.

The workshop was about saying 'No'. How could we create the balance we wanted in our lives by saying 'No' to things we didn't want to do and therefore have time to do the things we wanted to do.

Jane has now got to the stage that she felt she didn't want to think about saying 'No', she wanted to discover how to say 'Yes' to the things she hasn't yet got round (or dare I say 'dared') to doing.

But saying 'Yes' sometimes just means having worked out what to say 'No' to. For example, saying 'Yes' to having a great year this year, means saying 'No' to doubt, fear, procrastination and anything else that's stopping you having that 'Yes' year.

I'm going to say 'Yes' to continuing to think I'm lucky. And I'm going to say 'No' to worrying that things may go 'wrong'. After all, what is 'wrong' but a time to take stock of what's just happened and learn from it?

I'm lucky that you're ready this and, if you're not, then what can I learn from that?

Please let me know.

Hope you have a great weekend.
I'm at The Grove Hotel... do come and join me there another weekend.
Nina
Best-selling author (I've just been told by my publisher) of The Life Book

Not waving but drowning

2010-02-26T12:10:00.005Z

Sometimes we feel as if we're drowning. We may have too much work to do or we may feel overwhelmed in other ways - somehow there are too many decisions to make and too many options. We can feel unfocused macro and unfocused micro.

Micro unfocused: Too many files open on our computer or too many e-mails to reply to, each one demanding our attention.
Macro unfocused: too many interconnected decisions going on in our lives and no idea what to do.

Even looking at two life belts is confusing. Which one do you choose?

The truth is that it usually doesn't matter which life belt you hang onto or which e-mail you answer first. What's important is that you don't get paralysed into not doing anything. That you just grab one of the life belts and focus on pulling yourself to safety.

What life belt are you going to choose today?

Let me know what works for you.

I'm focusing on getting my bulletin written.
See you next week,
Hope you have a great weekend.
Check me out on the HSBC blog.
Nina
With homage to Stevie Smith.

These boots are made for swaggering...

2010-02-19T11:18:00.002Z

When I lived in Los Angeles in my early twenties one of the first things I bought myself was a pair of stunning cowboy boots. Actually, they were more like cowgirl boots. They were wonderfully loud – bright red and white and I wore them with pride. They’re now lying scuffed in a cupboard somewhere – too small for me to fit into and occasionally used by the children for dressing up. A shadow of their former selves.

I’m in Dorset this week for half-term and took myself to the Bournemouth Life Club as a treat. We spent the evening working on perspectives. Most peculiar things kept popping into my head. When asked to think of an animal, I thought of a tadpole (!?) and when asked to think of a character from a film I thought of John Wayne.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never been a fan of cowboy films (apart from Butch Cassidy – and I’m not sure you’d count that) and I certainly have never been a fan of John Wayne, but there he was, larger than life in my mind.

So, what did my life look like from John Wayne’s perspective? It looked simple. Suddenly I had the power and the arrogance to make decisions, to be confident, to be ruthless, to determine my future.

I left the Life Club not walking, but swaggering. I’m going to buy myself another pair of cowboy boots – maybe black this time.

What item of clothing makes you feel confident? Or even swagger?

See you at Life Clubs.
All best wishes,
Nina
PS We’re looking for Hosts to run clubs in the UK and Canada right now. Check out our website for more.

Why wait?

2010-02-12T12:46:00.007Z

This week's workshop was about procrastination.

I procrastinate on everything (well, almost everything) from sorting out the damp in our basement to putting meditation into my daily schedule).

We had a couple of new clubbers this week and they, of course, had procrastinated about coming to Life Clubs and, of course, once they got there, were amazed at what a great time they had and how many interesting people they met.

One of the things my modesty keeps me procrastinating on is talking too much about Life Clubs. But I feel I have to take note, as one of my clubbers has written to me about how I could sell Life Clubs a little better. He suggested that I show you the Puzzle of Life, which I now have done, and talk you through it.

I feel as if I have been pushed into action. This is what he suggested I say...

Each week we build upon a core component of the Life Clubs Puzzle. This week's procrastination workshop fitted into the Organisation piece of the Puzzle. Next week we'll focus on a Creativity topic. You get the most from Life Clubs when you can follow trends of yourself, seeing how you evolve and change over time.

Each week you track your development as you move round the circle - the boxes around the edge standing for the 50 workshops in Life Clubs - and each week you get a clearer way of thinking.

I feel so much better now. I got through that one and it was painless. What's next on the list?

Exercising... oh oh.

Happy Valentine's Day to you all,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs
Author of The Life Book

I'm definitely not deep enough

2010-02-04T22:21:00.004Z

This week's Life Club was all about the kind of questions we ask. I wish I could say that we debated whether god exists and the meaning of religion in 21st century society, but we didn't.

Instead we thought about the difference between open and closed questions.

The first questions we came up with were those 'How are you?' and 'What's up?' questions that we ask all the time without often meaning anything and usually expecting a grunt for an answer. Then a clubber came up with the question: 'What could you do to get better?'.

Now, 'What could you do to get better?' is a pretty good example of an open question. It immediately has me thinking of wonderfully self-improving things, like 'I could go to sleep earlier'... 'I could floss more often'... 'I could go for an hour walk every morning...' and on and on. It feels forward moving and exciting and challenging.

But, as another clubber pointed out, it feels negative. It implies criticism. It implies that you need to get better.

Isn't it interesting how we all look at questions differently?

So, after all that, let's get a bit more intellectual with our questions.

Does god exist? And, if he does, as my son once asked me, why did he create stinging nettles?

Keep me posted with your thoughts.
See you next week at Life Clubs.
All best wishes,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs and author The Life Book (Prentice Hall Life)

One more belief knocked on the head

2010-01-29T14:02:00.006Z

At Life Clubs this week we talked about all those annoying voices in our heads that tell us we're no good at things - or even no good at anything.

Or, as one of my clubbers called them, mind viruses.

One of my perennial mind viruses is that I'm no good at working with corporates. It pops up every time I'm about to meet a new corporate. I've written books all my life, so (go the viruses) what good am I going to be at helping them with their leadership and engagement issues?

Having been through the virus takes control (I'm no good at working with corporates) loop in my head over and over again, this week I went through the 'I can do anything - I'm great at working with corporates' loop and saw that one of the 'to dos' I'd set myself was to talk to someone who does know about corporates and leadership.

This morning I had my first tutorial. It was brilliant. I now know everything about the issues facing the leaders of today, where they've come from historically and how Life Clubs is the ideal tool to help staff become engaged and anyone to become the leader he or she wants to be.

My mind virus has just been erased.

Where's the next company?

See you at Life Clubs
Hope you have a great weekend,
All best,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs and author of The Big Book of Me
PS If you haven't seen our new website, click on the tabs above. Check out 'wow' for all our new offers

Focus first, then aim

2010-01-22T21:50:00.004Z

Someone at my Life Club this week said her goal was to have 'a more enjoyable life'. Now, which of us can honestly hold up our hand and say we haven't felt the same thing at one time or another? I can't.

I knew exactly what she meant - and it's a great goal to have - but it's just too big. What is enjoyable? And, come to that, what will an enjoyable life be like? There are so many variations. By the end of the club she'd decided to focus on one element of her life first and improve that and (I'm prepared to bet on it) the rest will follow on.

I know a lot about goals and focusing in theory, but can find the practice of them difficult. I can visualise the 'enjoyable life' and I can break things down into tiny, achievable parts, like 'phone a friend tonight' but it's that middle bit that always seems so daunting. I mean, how can I move home and get a new job and find a new group of friends (or whatever will make my life more enjoyable)???

This week I'm going to practice what I preach. I'm going to focus first on what I really want, then break it down into achievable steps and then I'm going to aim.

Just watch out. Enjoyable life... here we come.

See you next week,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs, author of The Life Book

Do check out our new website - click on labels above to get you in to it. One goal down... several more to go.

It's my party!!!

2010-01-15T13:47:00.007Z

Oh gosh... I love my birthday.

Tomorrow I'm going to be some enormous age and because I love my birthday so much I got married on my birthday, which means it's also our wedding anniversary and yes, why not throw in a book launch too. So it's a party to celebrate three lovely things and...

What does that mean in terms of the rest of my life?

Yes, you guessed. I'm tired, a little stressed that everything will be 'right' on the day and totally focused on my party rather than on anything else.

It means that I've stopped planning for anything except tomorrow. We have no food in our house that isn't for the party - nothing to eat for tonight or Sunday. We have no furniture in our house either as that's all been taken away so we can dance. And I have four unhappy children and a disgruntled husband.

Our club this week was on planning ahead. It's a great workshop and something I'm usually very good at, but right now...

As I write I'm trying to imagine Monday. On Monday I'll have no 'birthday party' goal any more. We've just launched our new website, all our materials have been rebranded - as you'll see when you come to a club (and look gorgeous) and everything has been thrown out or tidied away (for the party).

How is Monday going to work?

I suppose one thing is clear. I can only go forwards.
That must be what birthdays are all about.

I hope you enjoy yours too,
All best,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs, author The Life Book

Gosh, time flies when you're having fun...

2010-01-08T11:12:00.004Z

I'm not sure my husband and I are as old or as beautiful as the couple in this picture I've chosen. What we do have in common is that we're still happy together.

Where I'm going with this is that this week we've been together for exactly half my life. I find this totally extraordinary. To me, when I look back, the time I was on my own seems to be in vivid technicolour. So much happened, so many countries, people, romances. It seems a long period of time.

In contrast, the time I've spent with him, has mellowed into a pastel-coloured blur of warmth and contentedness. It seems but a short moment since the first time we met and no memories are as vivid as those of me on my own.

So, why am I mentioning this?

This week's Life Clubs workshop was about doing what you want - call it being selfish if you like, although I would personally call it essential. I'm possibly one of the most selfish people I know - I have it down to a fine art. I know what I love and I build it into my life without fail.

Where this is going is how could anyone have put up with me for so long or how could I have stuck with the same person for so long? I think the answer is independence. He allows me to be selfish and at the same time does what he wants to do. We've co-existed so happily because we allow each other to be ourselves.

So, think about what you want to do and just go for it. That way you too will be as soppy as the couple in the picture.

See you this week,
Nina
Author of The Life Book, founder of Life Clubs
Read this lovely post about my new book.

Happy New Year

2009-12-31T06:33:00.005Z

I don't know about you, but I hate New Year's Eve.

It's one of those times when you're meant to be happy and I don't do compulsory happiness. I like spending New Year's Eve as a time of reflection, thinking back over everything I've done in the last year (or even things I haven't done) and working out what I'd like the next year to be like. Then I like going to bed early so I can wake up feeling fully refreshed for the New Year.

I'm in for a treat this year. I'm in Sri Lanka and due to the full moon it's a Buddhist ceremony and no alcohol is allowed to be served on the island. Of course, everyone has found a way around this, but I like the idea of a full moon starting the New Year and I like the idea of not getting drunk but taking time for reflection.

I spent 2009 writing two books and I've just been sent these photos of one of them (The Life Book) in Waterstone's Piccadilly sitting side by side some of my favourite books, so I'm feeling that maybe some of my year has been worthwhile. My reflections have started.

Do let me know what your 2010 holds in store.

This year I'm going to focus more on Life Clubs and less on writing. I can't wait.

Happy New Year to you all.
Nina,
Author of The Life Book (just released and ready for consumption)! Allow it to help you with 2010.

Mary Portas at my club...

2009-12-18T10:43:00.004Z

Well... not quite, but almost. That was wishful thinking. I think Mary Portas is great.

We had a creativity workshop last week and, at the end of it, one of my clubbers sat there grinning from ear to ear. She's having a two month sabbatical in South Africa (her hometown) and wants to earn some money at the same time. Her lightbulb moment (and it was a big one) was that she could buy clothes in the UK and sell them in South Africa for a profit. Her goal for this week is to ask her daughters if they want to get involved.

Creativity is amazing and yet sometimes, without help, we don't feel creative. If we don't feel creative then we don't allow ourselves to get all silly and laugh and have creative thoughts and then we feel we're not creative and so don't even try to be creative and on and on the cycle goes.

At Life Clubs we brainstormed and got silly and, hey, businesses were conceived.

See you in the New Year.
I wish you all the very best for 2010.
Thanks for all your support.
Nina
If you're interested on coming on a weekend with me, check this out.
If you'd like to buy my new book, click here

Way to go!

2009-12-13T23:11:00.008Z

Change was last week's Life Clubs topic and it's a huge one. We change every second of every day - whether we want to or not - and we can make changes too.

An obvious change is when you travel. These photos are of the first lovely Canadian Life Clubs Hosts in Toronto. You can see them all working hard learning what it takes to run a club. In a way being around that table in Toronto could have been being around my table in London and yet I'd changed time zone, changed temperature, changed language (up to a point) and changed families (swapping mine for Eva Marie's for the week).

At Life Clubs this week, we were talking about what can help one with change. One of my clubbers had as her Lightbulb Moment that her reaction to change was what was key. How right she was.

We can take change very badly and we can enjoy it. Often all it depends on is the frame of mind we're in when the change happens. If we're feeling good about ourselves and our lives, it can help us react positively. Conversely if everything is going wrong around us and we're feeling overwhelmed we can react negatively to yet another change. The question is how to keep your frame of mind positive so you can be open to change.

In order to enjoy Canada I spent some time on my own, showered twice a day and kept in touch with home. I also determined to stay open to my new experiences and the people I met.

What can I tell you - I loved every minute of it.

Eva-Marie, Monica, Sue, Debbie and Sonia... all I can say is 'Way to go!'

See you all for my last week of Life Clubs in 2009.
Nina
Founder Life Clubs
PS If you feel you'd like hints around change (or any of our other 50 topics), sign up to my bulletin via our website www.lifeclubs.com.

'til death us do part

2009-12-04T09:30:00.006Z

I've had a bit of a values week. This week's Life Club was all about values and I was interviewed by a wedding planner about values in a relationship and ended up (as usual) talking about my relationships.

I don't have much 'in common' with my husband in the 'hobbies' sense of the word. He loves boats and I get sea-sick really easily (even on a river). He loves history and I (as you know) live in the future. He loves 'being a tourist' and I am very lowbrow on holiday and want to lie low with a book. And on and on it goes. And yet we're happy together and that's because our values are so similar.

We both rate independence which means we can do our own thing if we want to. We both value security, which means we feel secure together and trust each other. And honesty comes at the top of our values which means we'll be open and honest with each other.

I won't say there aren't times when our honesty causes us to be cross with each other, but that's OK too because the security means we're able to do that.

So, 'til death us do part seems appropriate.

Look for the values. Are you living yours?

See you next week,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs

How do you work things out?

2009-11-27T02:15:00.006Z

I don't know about you, but I spend a lot of my time living in the future. I enjoy the present (and would suggest living there), but to me it hasn't got the excitement of the future.

Of course, the present has loads to recommend it - one can feel connected in the present... absorbed in the present... still in the present and much, much more. But the future - that's my spiritual home.

Living in the future makes it easy to visualise. This week's workshop was about Holding Your Dreams and I can dream far into the future. In my mind leaping forwards 20 years feels like nothing and, doing so, helps me work backwards and work out the minute detail of how I'm going to get there.

I'm in Canada right now and dreaming of Life Clubs all over Canada. We're starting small, training 4 new Hosts this week to run clubs in and around Toronto, but the fantasies are starting. I'm imagining clubs in every available venue, retreats in the woods and by the lakes. In my mind I can see Life Clubs posters on the backs of the local trams and Life Clubs pencils in everyone's pockets. I'm imagining smiling faces and happy people.

Allow me my dreams... they're what keep me going.

What do you dream about?

Hope you have a great weekend and that next week I'll see you at Life Clubs
Nina
Founder Life Clubs

Could I get to sleep...?

2009-11-20T11:09:00.003Z

Normally I'm like this sleeping baby. I can drop off to sleep anywhere and at any time.

My children are used to finding me on the floor asleep, on sofas asleep and, of course, in my bed asleep.

This week has been different. On Wednesday our Life Club was on stress and the two people I was working with were both insomniacs. They either couldn't get to sleep in the first place or they woke in the early morning and couldn't drop off again. Of course, with all this talk of insomnia it's been on my mind and I've had two of the worst nights I've had for a long time... wild and crazy dreams, waking up every two hours, restless at light-turning-out time.

Of course, you get what you focus on. Silly me.

So, I've gone back to that workshop and have taken my learning from it. This is a temporary worry and won't last, so I can cross it off my 'things that are causing me stress' list. I've done just that.

Let's hope tonight I sleep again as soundly as that baby.

Sweet dreams.
What do you do when you can't get to sleep? Do let me know.

All best,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs

We're excited...

2009-11-17T10:50:00.002Z

Our lovely pencils just arrived and we can't wait to give them to you...

See you at Life Clubs,
Nina

Oh gosh... travel

2009-11-14T12:41:00.004Z

Last week at Life Clubs we took one of the thoughts that stops us in our lives and shook it on its head.

My current limiting belief (because I'm going to Canada on Sunday) is that I'm hopeless at travel. I'm dreading the journey, the jet lag, the disruption to my life... everything.

Now, I know I'm actually a total traveller at heart. I travelled like mad all my life, especially in my twenties and am still desperate to visit Easter Island which, my husband keeps reminding me, is as far away as it gets.

Nonetheless I panic. But, remembering the lesson learnt at the Life Club, I decided to kick through my fear, teach my limiting belief a lesson, and go to Exeter to see the play a very good friend had directed. I thought it would be a good thing to do - to have a three hour travel before my big travel on Sunday.

Believe it or not, I was petrified about Exeter too. Just being out of my own home. I called my friend numerous times to ask him if I'd be cold in the bedroom at night, if I needed to bring a towel, would we eat after the play or should I bring sandwiches... and on and on.

Everything went wrong that could go wrong. I booked the train tickets to leave from the wrong station, then I left them at home. I asked for seats going forwards and was given ones going backwards and, worst of all, I was in a silent carriage on the way back when I'd specifically asked for a noisy one.

But... I managed. I'm back home (good to be back home) and I travelled. And I loved my travel. So, yes, Life Clubs was good. Just do something you're worried about and you'll be OK.

As my friend, Lowri says, 'Jump and the net will appear'. Is that what you do too?

See you next week,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs

Never put off...

2009-11-06T10:04:00.006Z

I sometimes can't believe how boring I am.

As this week's workshop was called Streamlining, and was about being efficient and doing everything you want to do plus some, I started thinking about how I streamline and realised that there's a very simple motto that governs my life and almost everything I do and (in case you hadn't guessed from the even more boring image) it's 'never put off 'til tomorrow what you can do today'.

I have no idea what started off the use of this motto, all I know is that I live in complete contrast to the rest of my family who do everything at the last possible moment.

I, on the other hand, drag them out to change a tyre in the middle of the night - just in case it rains the next day, write all my articles the moment I'm given them - just in case anything else comes up and make sure I know how to get hold of everyone I meet - just in case I don't naturally meet them again.

My kind of streamlining may not suit you. It leads to late nights and somewhat obsessive behaviour, but it works for me.

What do you do to make sure everything gets done and you have time to play?

Let me know.

See you at next week's Life Club - who wouldn't want a clearer way of thinking?
Hope you have a great weekend,
Nina
Author of The Big Book of Me and The Big Book of Us and the soon to be published, The Life Book (already being stocked by Waterstones and WH Smith - they're doing it today as well, just in case it's sold out tomorrow!)
Founder of Life Clubs

Pass the dynamite...

2009-10-31T11:24:00.004Z

Dynamite would come in handy when you feel like you're talking to a brick wall. You just want to blow that wall up and say 'listen to me... I'm saying something that's important to me.'

This week's workshop was great fun. Listening is the key to life... the key to relationships... and we don't do it often enough. Really stopping everything and listening to someone makes you feel as special and privileged as it does them. And the person who is talking can work through their issue just by being listened to.

Someone came to the club saying he never felt listened to. By the end of the workshop he'd worked out that maybe the people who never listened to him were people who never listened to anyone... unless there was some dynamite right next to them.

Enjoy listening this week... or do I need to get out my dynamite?

Nina
Founder Life Clubs, starting in Canada this week!!!