Does The Secret work?

This week at Life Clubs we were discussing money.

Gosh. It's a fascinating subject, all the more so (quite possibly) because usually we don't talk about it. It's as if once you start you can't stop and so we chatted and chatted and chatted.

One of the things that came up was about the best-selling book, The Secret, and whether just by focusing on money you can create it. I'm afraid I haven't read it, but I've seen a bit of the film and know the general idea and have talked about it a lot with friends - not in terms of attracting money, but in terms of attracting a partner.

So, what did we decide. Does The Secret lead on nicely from last week's post in that just wishing for something will make it happen..? Sadly not.

With money and partners and anything else you want, sadly you can't just wish. Or you can, but you can't instantly expect that wish to come true.

What you can do is a lot of emotional work on yourself (which is what we were doing in the club) and then focus. And, if you focus and focus enough on what you want, your wish may well come true - just by the sheer persistence, confidence and awareness you're putting into it.

So, be absolutely clear on what exactly you want, believe that you can get it and focus on it.

And then, let me know what you've bought with your new-found money!

Next week's workshop is about self-image. Find out how your external self is stopping your internal self. Fascinating.

See you there - hope you have a great weekend,
All best,
Nina
PS These are wishing notes on a wishing tree
PPS Life Clubs has just had it's first wedding. To read all about it, click on the heart.

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What would you wish for?

I was having an interesting conversation the other night about stories in which people can wish for things. Aladdin may have got it right, asking to keep the genie, but so many others got it wrong.

In this story (which you may well know), the couple used up their three wishes by asking for i. a sausage, ii. the sausage to be stuck to the woman's nose for having been so stupid as to wish for a sausage and iii. the sausage to be removed from the woman's nose.

I was told about a story in which the heroine, when granted one wish for her unborn son, asked that he be loved by everyone he met. As you may imagine, the consequences were appalling. He became an impossible and unpleasant character.

Just how much easier would it have been if they'd all been asked what they didn't want instead of what they did?

Sausage lady's three wishes might have been i. to never want for food again and ii. to never row with my husband again. Maybe there'd have been no need for a third wish - can you think of one?

Next week at Life Clubs we'll be thinking about money. Maybe her third wish would have been to never have to worry about money again.

See you soon and have a great weekend. My genie's taking me to Hove for a sing song! I wish I could sing in tune.
All best,
Nina

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When will the English grow up?

You know how when you're walking the streets you hear the greatest conversations.

The other day I was privileged enough to overhear this classic remark: "The trouble is that the English won't grow up!". How wonderful I thought.

Our workshop this week was all about creativity and how to become more creative.

Guess what. Creativity is about not growing up. It's about being silly and 'childish' and letting anything happen. And it works. At my club people were having Lightbulb Moments solving all sorts of problems by brainstorming how a washing machine could help them.

These 'childish' English people have produced some of the greatest creative thinkers in my lifetime. I've danced and cried to the Beatles singing all sorts of things, including 'Obladi Oblada' - and if that isn't 'childish' I don't know what is. I've watched Branson revolutionise air travel (and lots of other things besides) and at the same time nearly kill himself being 'childish' and now I'm sitting with my ipod designed by Jonathan Ive who certainly comes up with some child-friendly products.

I'm thrilled the English won't grow up. There's enough other nations who have - or, at least, who think they have.

See you at Life Clubs next week.

We're going to be growing up a little and designing our future by working out what we don't want. For a list of more of our topics, so you can plan your diary, look here.

Best wishes to you all,
Nina

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Books or mind or both?

To me this messy bookshelf looks divine. Inviting, intelligent, a little chaotic and definitely worth looking in as you might find a treasure. And yet, this week, we were hosting a workshop on decluttering, so it's not really appropriate for me to eulogise about mess.

Our office, before this week, looked a little like those shelves and part of me loved it. It feels like there's always something to discover. It made us look a little human and homely rather than stiff and anal. After all (and this is how I try and persuade myself) we're a soft, fuzzy business, we should have a soft, fuzzy workplace.

But this week we set to work. Each folder was removed from the shelves and brought up to date. Each piece of paper was found a home or binned and we even filed away all our computer documents on dropbox (our new favourite toy).

Gosh. Does it feel good. We've had a fantastic week with interesting meeting after interesting meeting. I'm now convinced I've opened a space in which more creativity can happen rather than less. We're all skipping here.

How's your decluttering going??? Is it your books you're getting rid of or the mess in your mind?

Good luck - just don't throw any my way.
Nina
PS If you're a top tips kind of person, have a look at mine on work/life balance here
PPS If you're a facebook kind of person, do 'like' our page
PPPS Next week's workshop is on creativity. For a look at this month's workshops, click here.

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How jealous are you?

I sadly wasn't at our workshop this week, but I heard it had fascinating results.

It was all about relationships and those friends and colleagues and family members who drive you mad in some way or other.

It made me think about my relationships and how they work. I remembered recently feeling slightly frustrated listening to someone I knew. They were having a great time, talking and talking all about themselves to a large crowd - all of whom were laughing and joking. In my mind this acquaintance didn't leave any time for any of us listening to say a word and I started feeling oppressed and cross with her and, needless to say, with myself.

But as I sat there getting twitchier and twitchier, I had my Lightbulb Moment.

Of course, the reason I was feeling so frustrated with her, was that I wanted to be her. I was jealous that I couldn't be the one talking about myself and laughing and joking with an adoring crowd. She'd got there first and, yes, was better at it than me.

Watch out for those mirrors... and that green-eyed you.

Hope you have a lovely weekend in the sun,
Nina
PS If you haven't already, do 'like' us on facebook.

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What to do? Laugh or cry?

Or maybe both...

Today was a bit of a bluesy day. Our workshop this week was all about confidence and I, for some reason, decided to feel under-confident. Sadly I didn't have a Life Clubs Host with me to ask me what the advantages were to feeling so under-confident, so I just decided to have a bit of a wallow.

I don't really like wallowing for long and the one thing that I know will cheer me up is a visit to the Tate Gallery, so I asked my eldest daughter if she would come with me.

As you can see, we had fun. This picture just cried out for some interaction. We started by screaming as in 'You make me... scream', went onto crying 'You make me...cry' and then decided to laugh 'You make me... laugh'. Results here.

What do I recommend for anyone feeling under-confident (apart from a trip to Life Clubs)?
seeing art
making art
laughing
being with a friend
...not necessarily in that order.

I'm now on a roll. Hope you are too.

Have a lovely weekend. We're going to do some more making art. What will you do?

Nina
PS A Daily Express journalist came to our day workshop last Saturday and loved it. Read her description in The Express on Monday.

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You've got to have friends...

My week was all about friendship this week.

On Monday night I went to Sheffield to open the Life Club there and met Hilary, the Host's partner, Grae. A fellow public speaker, at first the two of us skirted around each other like a couple of dogs, curiously (but cautiously) sniffing each other out not sure if we wanted to really bond. And then something happened and we both suddenly relaxed and really enjoyed each other's company. Or, at least, I really enjoyed his.

What that brought home to me is how long it can take to penetrate through to the bit of someone you're going to like. We have so many guards and defences up that often we don't just confess our fears and feelings of inadequacy straight away which, let's face it, is often the interesting bit. Instead we're so busy trying to show off our beautiful blue feathers in true peacock style.

Together Grae and I went to Hilary's Life Club, which was great. Hilary is warm and intelligent and fun and the club threw up my next Lightbulb Moment, which was that I'm not everything I ask for in a friend.

I love friends who are kind to me and say nice things to me and yet I'm not sure I'm that good at giving compliments. I'm sometimes too busy to really notice how someone else is looking or even what they're saying and if I do notice, I can feel awkward about saying something positive - always feeling I've missed the right moment to say it.

So, from now on, I'm going to be honest and say the nice things I'm thinking. And I'm going to slow down enough to notice just how great everyone else is looking.

I'm going to start off with thanking you all so much for reading. I don't know what I'd do without you.

I hope you have a lovely weekend,
Nina
PS I'm running a workshop on Wellbeing tomorrow. A couple of places left. It's in Westminster, London. If you're free, do come. It's going to be great.

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