What's my body saying about me?

I'll let you into a secret. I would love to be asked to give a TED talk. I think they're always interesting, fantastically watchable and thought-provoking.

I hope I can be interesting, fantastically watchable and thought-provoking but, what's more relevant right now, is that I like being on stage talking to a large audience.

Needless to say, it wasn't always like that. I had a lot of help from a great actor coach, Martin Cochrane, to get there and for that I'll always be grateful.

This week's workshop is about body language and that's where Martin helped me the most.

Martin made me watch a film of myself giving a speech. You can see it here (or a shortened version on the home page of our website, here). But before I watched it with him he told me to watch it with a positive mind-set, rather than a negative. 'Don't sit there going 'I'm talking too fast' or 'I shouldn't have crossed my arms' or 'Don't I look hunched over'' he said. 'Instead, I'd like you to tell me all the things you've done well'.

It was revolutionary. I started off by praising the way I'd had a slug of water before actually starting to speak!!! I admired the way I wasn't talking too fast!!! I even liked the way I stood tall as I threw the ball into the audience so confidently!!!

You may not be lucky enough to have Martin by your side, but at Life Clubs this week we promise you'll leave knowing where your body language is holding you back and how to get confident about it instead.

TED... watch out. Here I come.

See you Wednesday,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs and great speech maker(!)

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Following can be good

This week's workshop was about body language and, as I was talking to one of my heroes, my 11-year old son, I asked him what he thought would be a good illustration.

Now Tommy has a few crazes at the moment. Those of you who have been following my blog, already know about Dr Who (though who in the UK at the moment isn't an addict?) and Bionicles (those weird Lego robots), but the one you may not yet have heard about is Men In Black. Yesterday he watched Men In Black 2 and so he filled me in on the latest:

'Mum, in Men In Black, they meet these aliens and in order to befriend them, they start dancing the way the aliens dance.'

How good is that for an example?

I had a similar experience when I was in Tobago on holiday many, many years ago. It is a stunning country, but walking the streets and smiling at people, saying 'Hello', I felt a bit of hostility. No-one smiled back.

After a while, I decided to do what anyone else would have done and stop smiling and start observing. It was then I noticed that when one Tobagonian met another, they didn't smile, but instead lifted their hand up slightly from their thigh to say 'Hello'.

Like Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones, I decided to copy the body language of the people I wanted to be friendly with. Each time I met someone, I casually raised my hand a little from where it was hanging relaxed.

Oh Yes! Suddenly I belonged.

All I can say is... it was a great workshop and I had a great holiday.

What experiences do you have of using your body language to fit in? Just let us know.

I hope you have a great week.
See you at Life Clubs,
Nina
PS Our Work workshop is filling up with lovely people. It's in Westminster on Saturday 24th April and Lynne (my fabulous HR) and I are giving of our time to raise money for Marie Curie. It's £75 and it's for anyone who is working too hard or not working hard enough or not enjoying their job or not sure what they want from a career. It's going to be fab. Five Life Club workshops in one day ... intense! Book now.

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Energise your body

It's summer and my daughter and I have decided to get fit.

She's exercising a little more regularly than I am, as you can see. Even at the end of the day, her and her boyfriend are bicycling on the bed. If I manage a swim in the sea and a game of tennis I'm thrilled - and so is my body. I couldn't face a late night cycle.

So often we ignore our bodies and just huddle up on the sofa or squashed in a chair and write or sit on our computers (as I've been doing for the last six months). It feels great to pull them out and use them.

I've also been learning to think into my body. I mentioned the Enneagram a few weeks ago. I'm what is called a 'head' type. I live in my head. I go on walks thinking 'A loose stone... I might slip' or 'A muddy puddle... I might get stuck.' It means I don't ever trust my body and what it's doing. Since writing my book and that workshop, I've been trying to put my mind on hold and walk along, really feeling the ground under my feet. I know that sounds totally weird and as if it ought to be natural, but it's not.

I now go on walks noticing textures underfoot and just trusting that I'm not going to slip or slide or get stuck and it makes going for walks an adventure. I can skip and jump and not feel nervous.

This week's workshop is all about energising your body.

You can jog to your nearest workshop...

How do you energise your body?
All best,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs and author of The Big Book of Me

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Not sure about licking your nose...

I feel I've gone slightly animal on you all, but next week's workshop is about body language and this photo I took of a cow in Dorset seemed to me to be just the kind of body language that might put you off wanting to get to know someone.

Even when we don't think about it, there are so many things we know not to do. From licking your nose on, we're already pretty aware of what works and what doesn't. And yet there are so many more things to think about that we do unconsciously.

Do you know what impression you give someone when you first meet? Do you know your body strengths and how you could play on them?

Most of what we communicate we do through our body and facial expressions, so it's good to know as much as possible about how you come across and what you could do to enhance that first impression.

Come along to Life Clubs next week and discover your body - you can tell that cow hasn't yet been.
See you there,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs

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