What to do next?

I've been away from my desk for 11 days and, although I tend to think about work a lot of the time - even when I'm away - I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I get back tomorrow.

In a way it's a wonderful fresh start. I've been able to think about Life Clubs from a distance and get a new perspective, but in another way my mind has gone a bit blank - I'm out of my routine.

This week's workshop, Visual Problem Solving, is a fantastic one. At BAT it was their favourite as it's incredible at problem solving in a really playful way - and, if you're anything like me, problems is a major subject.

Remembering the workshop, I started thinking about how I felt. I realised I felt like a wonderful well-travelled suitcase, a little weary and empty wanting to be full with beautifully packed clothes for my next adventure. The emptiness is the unsureness I'm feeling now and the fullness is how I'd like to be feeling - confident and well-prepared - knowing what to do next.

When I focused on my metaphor and started thinking about how I pack a suitcase I realised how logical and sequential I become. Before I start packing, I think about every possible eventuality and then make a list of what I'm going to take to cover each of those eventualities. Inevitably the list isn't all taken, but it's a good place to start.

Instead of packing a case, I'm planning my future, but what's stopping me being just as logical and sequential as I usually am?

I'm starting my list now...

See you this week. I'm looking forward,
Nina

PS If you haven't booked for our Work & You workshop, I'd go for it now. Taking place all round the country it's a great way to spend a day thinking about what you want from work and how to achieve it.

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There's always another problem to solve

... and so often we're trying to solve the wrong problem.

At least that's what's happened to me this week.

The problem I thought I was trying to solve was whether or not my 12 year old son and I should be setting off to Tokyo. He's been wanting to go for 4 years and trying to decide whether or not to cancel our holiday has been tormenting me. You may think it's mad that I was even contemplating going to Japan in a week's time, but they are trying to get back to normal life there and seeing tourists is certainly a first sign of normality, so it feels a supportive thing to do.

Everything is up in the air. Japanese family friends we were going to be staying with are not going to be going, but an indomitable American friend is still going, so I've been feeling very torn.

As this week's Life Club is all about problem solving (Key Steps) I thought it would be ideal for me to use it to solve my problem. So, not less than 10 minutes ago, I sat there with the questions (sadly on my own rather than with a buddy inspiring me) and worked through them.

Of course, I was barking up the wrong tree.

The question is not whether we should be going to Japan, but how can I give my son the most fantastic time in those 8 days in which we were going to be going to Japan? What could we do to help him forget that we're not going to go?

My problem was solved and I now feel happy and resolved.

Legoland here we come..!

We all have problems all the time and so often we're not even putting our focus on the real problem.
I look forward to seeing you at Life Clubs this week.

Best wishes,
Nina

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The three types of problems

Dear All,

I don't know about you, but there are some things I find incredibly difficult to write about.

One of them is procrastination. Just thinking about procrastination makes me procrastinate. Writing the Life Clubs workshop on procrastination took ages and ages and preparing to run it is something I always leave to the last minute.

Another subject I find difficult to write about is problems and knowing that I had to write about them for this post has just added to my problems.

This week's workshop was all about stress and the problems we have.

In the workshop we divided up our problems into three groups:

1. Those problems which will eventually go away anyway so there's no point in worrying about them
2. Those problems which you can't do anything about - other people's
3. Those problems which you can solve

Once you've found that you can solve your problem, there's then nothing but (you guessed) procrastination stopping you.

Please forgive me, that's a gross simplification of problems, but you get the idea. We often worry about things there is no need to worry about.

I've been spending the last few days thinking about some of my domestic problems and decided that even though they're so bourgeois I'm going to tell you about them. I worry about what I'm going to cook for supper this week when friends come round. I worry about what I'm going to buy everyone for Christmas (and when). I worry about how I'm going to stay calm when all our visitors arrive over Christmas... and on and on.

I don't know if any of you have noticed, but as I was writing them down my Lightbulb Moment was that all my problems will all have gone away by January 1st (see 1. above), so I'm going to stop worrying about them now.

Phew. I can breathe again...

What do you worry about..?

This week's workshop (week of 6th December) is a wonderful workshop about the choices we have in our lives. If you're working too hard, not working hard enough, not sure if your life is in balance, come along. I look forward to seeing you.

And, if you haven't already, do check out our new website, mybestthingtoday. It's getting 800 hits a day which is absolutely amazing.

Hope you have a great week,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs
Author The Big Book of Me, The Life Book and How To Get What You Want

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Screw your way to happiness

I didn't mean to be so provocative, but I was having a great conversation today about happiness (our workshop of the week) and the title just popped into my head.

In our conversation we were talking about how it was little things that make you happy and I was remembering how my 11-year old had just bought the Dr Who Sonic Screwdriver he'd been saving up for.

Of course, he brought it home for someone to help him put the batteries in. They were, needless to say, in the most awkward of positions and we managed to break the battery holder whilst doing it. But the problem was finding the right size screwdriver to undo the screws.

We searched the house high and low and then, there, in (of course) the tool chest, was the tiniest little screwdriver - just the one we wanted.

Happiness was finding that screwdriver.

The person I was telling my story to, replied wisely and said 'Isn't solving a problem what makes you happy?'

So, I'm going to leave you with that thought. What would you say made you happy?

Maybe it's that provocative screw we mentioned before.

All best wishes for a lovely weekend. I'm running a workshop on relationships on Sunday and meeting prospective Hosts on Saturday. What could be better?

If you want to come to the workshop, get in touch (nina@lifeclubs.co.uk).
Nina
Founder Life Clubs

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How do you solve a problem like..?

Last week we were problem solving at Life Clubs. We use a wonderful 'mnemonic' called (needless to say) LIFE and, when you've worked through it you've solved your problem.

Possibly the most powerful question to ask is 'When did I succeed in solving this sort of problem before?' because it comes up with all sorts of positive answers and can make you realise that maybe you're trying to solve a problem that isn't the one you really want to solve.

One of my clubbers wanted to be able to meet someone - if you like - be ready for a relationship. And, as she came to that question she had her Lightbulb Moment that really she wasn't ready for anyone, because the previous times she'd met new people and started a relationship, she'd been feeling really good about herself and deeply creative and happy - and she wasn't now.

What a great new problem to solve... how to get creative. This week she's signing up for all sorts of creative courses and I can't see how anyone she meets could fail to fall in love with her.

My problem is often thinking about what to write. I love writing once I settle down to it, but what to say..? When I asked myself that powerful question I realised that ideas always came to me when I relaxed. So... check me out on the sofa in my pyjamas!

Let me know what problem you've got to solve and if that question helps.

Happy Easter to everyone. Next problem... where will the Easter bunny hide his eggs if it's raining?

What a lovely problem to have.

All best wishes,
Nina
If you'd like to know more about problem solving - or anything else that goes on at Life Clubs, do sign up for our bulletin.

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Knots...

This week's workshop was about problem solving, which is a bit like undoing knots - easy once you have worked out how. I don't sail, though I have been known to go rowing, but my main undoing of knots has been on necklaces and I find messing about with flimsy chains not my thing at all.

I have a knot at the moment though, which is how to excite you all about my favourite thing in the world, The Enneagram, a personality typing system plus. I've written about The Enneagram in all my books, my family all talk in Enneagram-speak ("Mum, my '8' (The Boss) boyfriend is in hiding - he must be totally stressed, wonder how I can help"), and I'm hosting an Enneagram workshop for my mentor, Gordon Melvin, next weekend and want you not to miss this opportunity of starting on (or continuing) your Enneagram travels.

I first came across the Enneagram about six years ago and, because of my desire to be free and not put in a box, it took me a long time to find out which of the 9 'types' I was. I am, for those of you who might have guessed, an Epicure/Adventurer (Type 7). The Enneagram has helped me understand myself, my husband and our relationship (22 years married so not doing badly) and it helped me understand why I was sabotaging my endless careers. It's helped me work with people and understand the differences between us. It's made me whole(r) and continually helps me to grow and change.

There are lots of places you can find out about the Enneagram, but, because the system is so complex, I think it's essential to start with a course rather than a book or an online quiz.

So, that's my knot and my solution was to simply tell you how I feel about it in the hope that you become inspired too.

You can now unravel your knot - how can I make time to come along next Saturday?

Gordon's Enneagram workshop is taking place in Westminster, Central London. It's £75 (£60 concessions) from 10-5.00 on Saturday October 31st. Contact genevieve@lifeclubs.co.uk for your ticket.

See you there,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs and author of the soon-to-be-published The Life Book (how exciting is that?! - especially for an Epicure!)

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Pictures speak louder than words

I took this photo on the beach outside a row of beach huts. I suppose children might have been painting the stones that day - anyway, I thought they looked fun and they reminded me of this week's workshop which is all about using images to solve problems.

I was inspired to write the workshop by a friend of mine. I was extremely gloomy one day and she asked me what the landscape I was mentally in looked like. I described to her that it seemed as if I was in a wide, wide river and unable to swim to the other side. When she asked what would help me I said 'A branch - I could hold onto that branch and not feel as if I was about to drown'. The moment she said 'Who is that branch?' I instantly knew who I had to ask to help me and I hadn't even thought about that person before.

The moment you think visually you free your mind up to the most exciting lightbulbs. Or maybe even to painting a few stones on the beach.

See you next week at Life Clubs with paintbrush.
Nina
Founder Life Clubs

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