Saturday, 31 October 2009

Pass the dynamite...

Dynamite would come in handy when you feel like you're talking to a brick wall. You just want to blow that wall up and say 'listen to me... I'm saying something that's important to me.'

This week's workshop was great fun. Listening is the key to life... the key to relationships... and we don't do it often enough. Really stopping everything and listening to someone makes you feel as special and privileged as it does them. And the person who is talking can work through their issue just by being listened to.

Someone came to the club saying he never felt listened to. By the end of the workshop he'd worked out that maybe the people who never listened to him were people who never listened to anyone... unless there was some dynamite right next to them.

Enjoy listening this week... or do I need to get out my dynamite?

Founder Life Clubs, starting in Canada this week!!!

Friday, 23 October 2009


This week's workshop was about problem solving, which is a bit like undoing knots - easy once you have worked out how. I don't sail, though I have been known to go rowing, but my main undoing of knots has been on necklaces and I find messing about with flimsy chains not my thing at all.

I have a knot at the moment though, which is how to excite you all about my favourite thing in the world, The Enneagram, a personality typing system plus. I've written about The Enneagram in all my books, my family all talk in Enneagram-speak ("Mum, my '8' (The Boss) boyfriend is in hiding - he must be totally stressed, wonder how I can help"), and I'm hosting an Enneagram workshop for my mentor, Gordon Melvin, next weekend and want you not to miss this opportunity of starting on (or continuing) your Enneagram travels.

I first came across the Enneagram about six years ago and, because of my desire to be free and not put in a box, it took me a long time to find out which of the 9 'types' I was. I am, for those of you who might have guessed, an Epicure/Adventurer (Type 7). The Enneagram has helped me understand myself, my husband and our relationship (22 years married so not doing badly) and it helped me understand why I was sabotaging my endless careers. It's helped me work with people and understand the differences between us. It's made me whole(r) and continually helps me to grow and change.

There are lots of places you can find out about the Enneagram, but, because the system is so complex, I think it's essential to start with a course rather than a book or an online quiz.

So, that's my knot and my solution was to simply tell you how I feel about it in the hope that you become inspired too.

You can now unravel your knot - how can I make time to come along next Saturday?

Gordon's Enneagram workshop is taking place in Westminster, Central London. It's £75 (£60 concessions) from 10-5.00 on Saturday October 31st. Contact for your ticket.

See you there,
Founder Life Clubs and author of the soon-to-be-published The Life Book (how exciting is that?! - especially for an Epicure!)

Friday, 16 October 2009

Planning Ahead... men in suits

First a huge thank you for all the lovely e-mails (and comments) about my mum. They were really appreciated.

This week's workshop was about planning your life by just drawing circles. My mum went to hospital this week having fallen over - she's home now and better, thank you, but it showed me, yet again, how plans have to be big enough and flexible enough to encompass all eventualities. It's also made me totally rethink last week's decision - and that's how it goes.

Life Circles is, however, a fantastic workshop (you can read more about it in The Big Book of Us, see website or amazon), because it allows you to tap into what's really important for you in your life - whether it's friends, family, work, romance, health, fitness, pets, spirituality, creativity etc and see how you'd really like them all to appear in your life. It also tells you a lot about how you conduct your life - what you place as important, how close you allow things to come to you as well as what you want for your life. And all through just drawing circles.

It helps choosing different perspectives. If you look back on what was working for you a few years ago you can see how to bring that into the present and future. It may be that you had more work or less work or were living somewhere else. You'll find all that out.

What I love about it is the pictures people draw. Their random circles turn into flowers or Stonehenge or other kaleidoscope like patterns. It's the calm we all seek and to see it expressed visually is great.

This week I spoke at Scanners. Apparently there were more men in suits there than normal. I'm going to put them all in my circle for the future - come to Life Clubs now...!

See you there,
Founder of Life Clubs
Author of The Big Book of Me, The Big Book of Us and... soon to be published, The Life Book

PS Can't tell you how brilliant Gordon Melvin's workshop An Introduction to the Enneagram is going to be. I use the Enneagram all the time to help me, my family and friends and to inform my work with others. It's in Westminster, Central London on 31st October, Saturday from 10.00-5.00. £75 or £60 for anyone who has anything to do with Life Clubs. Write to for tickets.

Friday, 9 October 2009

Kids - who'd have 'em

I'm actually thinking about myself as the 'kid' this time as my main preoccupation at the moment is whether or not to put my mother in an old people's home.

I know my mother didn't have me because she wanted me to nurse her in her old age, but the decision of going to a home seems to go against so many of my values and ones I'm assuming would have been hers.

I'm trashing my 'respect' value. I respect her and want her to keep her dignity in her own home. I'm undermining my 'kindness' value, because shouldn't I stop working and be kind to her instead. My 'freedom' value is coming in for a bit of a knock too, because there's nothing free about being in a home. And on and on it goes.

In this week's workshop we were thinking about what we can learn from our family. None of my family have ever been in a home before - they've all died too young. And yet I was thinking about my mother's childhood. She was home-schooled and longing to go to a school of any kind to be with others.

Maybe that's what I've got to hang onto. Her love of others, her interest in others, her enjoyment of conversation, her need for stimulation...

Gosh, it's a difficult decision... and I'm both the kid and the adult in this one.

Let me know what you've done.

See you next week,
Founder Life Clubs
Creator of the almost-put-to-bed Life Book

Friday, 2 October 2009

Money - all it's cracked up to be?

I remember being at a wedding in Mexico many years ago. Everyone pinned money to the bride's dress in a very natural way. In London, where I'm based, almost no-one talks about money. Yes, we talk about the economy and the recession, but we don't have those open, honest chats about how we feel about money, how difficult we find it to save, what we want it for and what having money really means to us.

So, that's where Life Clubs comes in. Last week no-one was held at ransom or blackmailed into talking about their finances, but there were lots of lightbulb moments about what the point was of wanting always to earn more and more money. One of our clubbers - a shining example to us all - had everything financially worked out for her future and was pleased to discover that there really wasn't any need for her to strive harder and harder for a promotion - she could live the balanced life she wanted.

If you'd like to have some money hints - or hints about anything else, sign up to our bulletin. Or come along to Life Clubs - we're always pleased to see you - even if you're not wearing one of these money-laundered shirts.

Any money questions? We'll answer them here.

Best wishes,
Founder Life Clubs and author Big Book of Me and Big Book of Us