Friday, 28 May 2010

Do you know what your values are?

I don't very often get my own Lightbulb Moments when I'm hosting a club, but I did on Wednesday (which was very exciting!)

We were taking it in turns to read through a list of values to see which ones could be ours. I know cleanliness is one of mine... and honesty... and courage... but when we got to the word 'responsibility', that's when the penny dropped.

My home is very messy. I am messy, my husband is messy and all four of my children are phenomenally messy. A typical morning goes like this ... 'Where's my homework diary?'... 'Where's my bus pass?'... 'Where are my trainers?' and on and on and because I'm messy I don't know either.

So I started to think about that word 'responsibility' and what it means.

I know I am absolutely trustworthy. I am one hundred per cent dependable. I am really reliable, but I'm not good at duty or taking on 'roles', such as that of 'tidy mother'.

What's happened, I suddenly realised, is that because I'm not responsible, I haven't passed on 'responsibility' to my children and this is the outcome... chaos.

Gosh, values are helpful. As my diary for Wednesday said 'You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself'. Maybe I've finally grown up. Let's see how responsible I now become.

What do your values tell you?

All my best wishes for a lovely long weekend (if you're in the UK),
PS You've been wonderful about voting for us in the Barclays competition - do carry on... click here.
PPS Come along to our final day workshop - in Central London on 12th June. It's a Life Clubs Intensive in aid of Marie Curie charity and it's all about you and your wellbeing. The other two were brilliant, I'm sure this one will be too. See you there.

Friday, 21 May 2010

You don't have to get drunk in order to succeed... or do you?

This week's Life Clubs workshop was all about success. I haven't chosen this picture because of David Cameron's success, or even Nick Clegg's for that matter, but keep reading and you'll find out why.

Success is one of those bizarre words (or maybe all words are like this... green, happy, tyre?) that means different things to different people. But one thing most of us seem quite clear about is that you don't really understand success until you've experienced failure.

What's wonderful is that they're often linked.

I remember I used to get really despondent when I failed at something. I felt depressed, beat myself up and generally got into a funk. It took a friend of mine to turn it all around and ask me what I was learning from each failure to get me to see things differently.

Now I relish failure because I can see it as such a helpful learning for what not to do next time. We had a party on Wednesday for members of the HR community and I was running up and down the stairs for more coffee - learning: get a thermos - and on and on it goes.

So, back to the picture. It's all about my son who, in his teens, went out drinking one night and dropped off to sleep on the last bus home. It was a long walk back contemplating his failure, but as he got to Lambeth Bridge and looked at the sun rise over the river (we live near the Houses of Parliament), he thought how beautiful London was and how lucky he was to live here. He found the success in the failure.

Enjoy finding your success. And, I hope you enjoy this Monet. Oh the success to be able to paint like that.

All best,
PS Our relationships workshop was a wow!!! If you'd like to come to the last workshop in this series - in aid of Marie Curie charity - do let us know now. It's all about YOU and fast booking up.

Friday, 14 May 2010

Screw your way to happiness

I didn't mean to be so provocative, but I was having a great conversation today about happiness (our workshop of the week) and the title just popped into my head.

In our conversation we were talking about how it was little things that make you happy and I was remembering how my 11-year old had just bought the Dr Who Sonic Screwdriver he'd been saving up for.

Of course, he brought it home for someone to help him put the batteries in. They were, needless to say, in the most awkward of positions and we managed to break the battery holder whilst doing it. But the problem was finding the right size screwdriver to undo the screws.

We searched the house high and low and then, there, in (of course) the tool chest, was the tiniest little screwdriver - just the one we wanted.

Happiness was finding that screwdriver.

The person I was telling my story to, replied wisely and said 'Isn't solving a problem what makes you happy?'

So, I'm going to leave you with that thought. What would you say made you happy?

Maybe it's that provocative screw we mentioned before.

All best wishes for a lovely weekend. I'm running a workshop on relationships on Sunday and meeting prospective Hosts on Saturday. What could be better?

If you want to come to the workshop, get in touch (
Founder Life Clubs

Friday, 7 May 2010

Election Fever making an Ass (of) u (and) me

This week's workshop was all about assumptions and, yes, I assumed the British electorate would vote differently from how they did. I'm now assuming that it was a knee-jerk 'Let's get Labour out' that caused the swing to Tory, rather than to Nick Clegg, who somewhat stole my heart.

Of course I also stayed up too late when I really could have gone to bed because nothing happened last night except a few (rightly) disgruntled wannabe voters were having problems voting. I assumed by 1.00 I'd really have a good idea what was going on, but when I went to bed the assumptions were that it was going to be an overwhelming majority for the Tories, whereas instead... how the potential mighty fell in a few hours.

Politics is all about assumptions, but so are our lives. We assume so much about who we are and what we can and can't do and how our lives will pan out. I assume I'm not going to understand what exactly a hung parliament is going to mean for us. I assume I'm bad at understanding what the different political issues of the election really are. I assume I don't know what the effects of a double-dip recession will be for us. And all those assumptions stop me even trying to understand. I leave it to 'others'.

Thinking positively, I'm going to assume you'd like to know about our workshop on relationships. It's on Sunday 16th May in Westminster, Central London. It costs £75 (almost all money to Marie Curie as Lynne and I are giving our time for free) and is for anyone who wants to either get on better with their partner or find a loving relationship. Do come along - it'll be great.

And now, let's assume that we'll all have a wonderful day and that David Cameron will stand up, dust himself off and get it together.

See you soon,
Founder Life Clubs and author The Big Book of Me and The Life Book
PS Photos taken this morning!