Friday, 25 June 2010

How jealous are you?

I sadly wasn't at our workshop this week, but I heard it had fascinating results.

It was all about relationships and those friends and colleagues and family members who drive you mad in some way or other.

It made me think about my relationships and how they work. I remembered recently feeling slightly frustrated listening to someone I knew. They were having a great time, talking and talking all about themselves to a large crowd - all of whom were laughing and joking. In my mind this acquaintance didn't leave any time for any of us listening to say a word and I started feeling oppressed and cross with her and, needless to say, with myself.

But as I sat there getting twitchier and twitchier, I had my Lightbulb Moment.

Of course, the reason I was feeling so frustrated with her, was that I wanted to be her. I was jealous that I couldn't be the one talking about myself and laughing and joking with an adoring crowd. She'd got there first and, yes, was better at it than me.

Watch out for those mirrors... and that green-eyed you.

Hope you have a lovely weekend in the sun,
PS If you haven't already, do 'like' us on facebook.

Thursday, 17 June 2010

What to do? Laugh or cry?

Or maybe both...

Today was a bit of a bluesy day. Our workshop this week was all about confidence and I, for some reason, decided to feel under-confident. Sadly I didn't have a Life Clubs Host with me to ask me what the advantages were to feeling so under-confident, so I just decided to have a bit of a wallow.

I don't really like wallowing for long and the one thing that I know will cheer me up is a visit to the Tate Gallery, so I asked my eldest daughter if she would come with me.

As you can see, we had fun. This picture just cried out for some interaction. We started by screaming as in 'You make me... scream', went onto crying 'You make me...cry' and then decided to laugh 'You make me... laugh'. Results here.

What do I recommend for anyone feeling under-confident (apart from a trip to Life Clubs)?
seeing art
making art
being with a friend
...not necessarily in that order.

I'm now on a roll. Hope you are too.

Have a lovely weekend. We're going to do some more making art. What will you do?

PS A Daily Express journalist came to our day workshop last Saturday and loved it. Read her description in The Express on Monday.

Friday, 11 June 2010

You've got to have friends...

My week was all about friendship this week.

On Monday night I went to Sheffield to open the Life Club there and met Hilary, the Host's partner, Grae. A fellow public speaker, at first the two of us skirted around each other like a couple of dogs, curiously (but cautiously) sniffing each other out not sure if we wanted to really bond. And then something happened and we both suddenly relaxed and really enjoyed each other's company. Or, at least, I really enjoyed his.

What that brought home to me is how long it can take to penetrate through to the bit of someone you're going to like. We have so many guards and defences up that often we don't just confess our fears and feelings of inadequacy straight away which, let's face it, is often the interesting bit. Instead we're so busy trying to show off our beautiful blue feathers in true peacock style.

Together Grae and I went to Hilary's Life Club, which was great. Hilary is warm and intelligent and fun and the club threw up my next Lightbulb Moment, which was that I'm not everything I ask for in a friend.

I love friends who are kind to me and say nice things to me and yet I'm not sure I'm that good at giving compliments. I'm sometimes too busy to really notice how someone else is looking or even what they're saying and if I do notice, I can feel awkward about saying something positive - always feeling I've missed the right moment to say it.

So, from now on, I'm going to be honest and say the nice things I'm thinking. And I'm going to slow down enough to notice just how great everyone else is looking.

I'm going to start off with thanking you all so much for reading. I don't know what I'd do without you.

I hope you have a lovely weekend,
PS I'm running a workshop on Wellbeing tomorrow. A couple of places left. It's in Westminster, London. If you're free, do come. It's going to be great.

Thursday, 3 June 2010

Hands up anyone who likes change

I'm not an historian, but when I came across Fortune holding the Medieval wheel of change I could immediately relate to it and it inspired this week's workshop on change.

I'm don't know about you, but I don't always find change easy. I've been using a different laptop to work on this week (my usual one is being sorted) and even that has me with writer's block. So, big changes, like going on a diet or moving house are totally out of the question.

And yet change is actually OK once you start and that's what made this wheel so successful in my eyes. Change is like being thrown around the wheel. There are no shortcuts. You may start off at happiness (12 o' clock), but then you feel dreadful (that's you in loss at 3 o' clock), then even worse (that's you suffering at 6.00 o' clock) and then, finally there's hope (at 9 o' clock) before you return to happiness.

Of course change is worse when you're not in control. When it's not a diet that you want to do, but a friend who has dumped you or a parent who has died. But, even when it's something you want to do, change is always tough.

Having created this (for me slightly unusual) workshop based on something Medieval, I loved reading how Helen, one of our Life Clubs hosts bought this workshop totally up to date. As she said:

The Medieval Wheel of Fortune reminds me more or less of the much more recent SWOT analysis.....
happiness = strengths,
loss = threats,
suffering = weaknesses and
hope = opportunities
Awareness of these four when considering change can only be positive.

No doubt if Fortune had been aware of contemporary business speak she would have thought of change in the same way.

I'm going to think of my diet in terms of SWOT. What else is my despair for a chocolate mousse but a whole lot of weakness?

Hope you're enjoying the sun and that we'll see you at Life Clubs this week,
Founder Life Clubs
PS Do sign up for our bulletin if you haven't already
PPS If there isn't a club near you, come along to our all day workshop about you and your wellbeing on Saturday 12th June in Westminster, Central London. From 10-5 and only £75. Lynne and I are running the club for free, so half your money will be going to support Marie Curie. See you there.