I love people who say 'No'

I remember vividly when Katharine Hamnett said 'No' to Mrs Thatcher. It came across loud and clear. Maybe a bit obvious, but wouldn't I like her as my PR?! Oh yes!

People who say 'No' are effective. They respect themselves and so it's only fitting that you respect them too. They demand it. Do I hold it against them that they won't baby-sit or come shopping with me? No, I don't. I may curse them under my breath or momentarily resent their decision, but ultimately they get my vote.

Am I like that? Sadly not. I tend to say 'Yes' to other people and then regret it and - although a slightly different sort of 'No' - I find it hard to say 'No' to my feelings of under-confidence and jealousy which can sometimes leave me unable to do much except feel inadequate.

This week though I'm feeling excited as we're working on saying 'No' at Life Clubs. I'm going to come to my workshop wearing no signs of inferiority whatsoever and if anyone says 'No' to attending I'm just going to respect them for it.

Having said that, I look forward to seeing you there, saying 'Yes' to changing your life!

All best,
Nina
PS Don't forget to book for our workshop on Work & you in association with Psychologies Magazine. It's on 21st May in venues around the country and booking up fast - though sadly Katharine Hamnett isn't doing the PR. Read more about it on our website.

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Change your mind

Yesterday I changed my screensaver (or desktop as they seem to call it on my mac). I found it quite traumatic. From easy to read files on a black background I've ended up with rather difficult to read files on a white background (but photo I took in a wonderful restaurant in London) and wondering whether to go back to the original picture.

If I found that change difficult, can you imagine how I must feel about changing my mind.

Last week's workshop was about using your mind to give you more confidence, so instead of having those 'I'm rubbish at life' thoughts going round in your head, you've got an 'I am great' thought.

And, I'd like you all to know, that I did achieve that. Changing my mind worked for me.

At a particularly low phase of life I decided I wanted to feel more confident. I settled on a very simple sentence 'I am confident. I can do anything' (no point at this stage in being modest!)

This is what I did:
* Every time I saw a mirror, I repeated my sentence looking at myself directly in the mirror and smiling.
* I did this first thing in the morning, last thing at night and whenever I saw a mirror in between.
* I said it once only, but with enormous conviction.
* At the same time I took some Confid drops (Australian Bush Flower Essences) and dropped them on my tongue twice a day.
* Expected things to change by the time I'd finished the bottle.

But it all happened very quickly - before I'd even finished the bottle.

I can't promise it will work for everyone and I certainly feel under-confident (or at least have under-confident moments) now just like anyone else, but it made an enormous difference at that particular period in my life.

So, change your mind and give it a go.

Next week's workshop is all about the things we do too much of. If you'd like to tackle your under-confidence that way, come along. Or anything else you're overdoing for that matter.

See you there and please, do buy a copy of my new book, How To Get What You Want. I think it's great (that's how confident I am!)
Nina

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What to do? Laugh or cry?

Or maybe both...

Today was a bit of a bluesy day. Our workshop this week was all about confidence and I, for some reason, decided to feel under-confident. Sadly I didn't have a Life Clubs Host with me to ask me what the advantages were to feeling so under-confident, so I just decided to have a bit of a wallow.

I don't really like wallowing for long and the one thing that I know will cheer me up is a visit to the Tate Gallery, so I asked my eldest daughter if she would come with me.

As you can see, we had fun. This picture just cried out for some interaction. We started by screaming as in 'You make me... scream', went onto crying 'You make me...cry' and then decided to laugh 'You make me... laugh'. Results here.

What do I recommend for anyone feeling under-confident (apart from a trip to Life Clubs)?
seeing art
making art
laughing
being with a friend
...not necessarily in that order.

I'm now on a roll. Hope you are too.

Have a lovely weekend. We're going to do some more making art. What will you do?

Nina
PS A Daily Express journalist came to our day workshop last Saturday and loved it. Read her description in The Express on Monday.

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