I love people who say 'No'

I remember vividly when Katharine Hamnett said 'No' to Mrs Thatcher. It came across loud and clear. Maybe a bit obvious, but wouldn't I like her as my PR?! Oh yes!

People who say 'No' are effective. They respect themselves and so it's only fitting that you respect them too. They demand it. Do I hold it against them that they won't baby-sit or come shopping with me? No, I don't. I may curse them under my breath or momentarily resent their decision, but ultimately they get my vote.

Am I like that? Sadly not. I tend to say 'Yes' to other people and then regret it and - although a slightly different sort of 'No' - I find it hard to say 'No' to my feelings of under-confidence and jealousy which can sometimes leave me unable to do much except feel inadequate.

This week though I'm feeling excited as we're working on saying 'No' at Life Clubs. I'm going to come to my workshop wearing no signs of inferiority whatsoever and if anyone says 'No' to attending I'm just going to respect them for it.

Having said that, I look forward to seeing you there, saying 'Yes' to changing your life!

All best,
Nina
PS Don't forget to book for our workshop on Work & you in association with Psychologies Magazine. It's on 21st May in venues around the country and booking up fast - though sadly Katharine Hamnett isn't doing the PR. Read more about it on our website.

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You've got to have friends...

My week was all about friendship this week.

On Monday night I went to Sheffield to open the Life Club there and met Hilary, the Host's partner, Grae. A fellow public speaker, at first the two of us skirted around each other like a couple of dogs, curiously (but cautiously) sniffing each other out not sure if we wanted to really bond. And then something happened and we both suddenly relaxed and really enjoyed each other's company. Or, at least, I really enjoyed his.

What that brought home to me is how long it can take to penetrate through to the bit of someone you're going to like. We have so many guards and defences up that often we don't just confess our fears and feelings of inadequacy straight away which, let's face it, is often the interesting bit. Instead we're so busy trying to show off our beautiful blue feathers in true peacock style.

Together Grae and I went to Hilary's Life Club, which was great. Hilary is warm and intelligent and fun and the club threw up my next Lightbulb Moment, which was that I'm not everything I ask for in a friend.

I love friends who are kind to me and say nice things to me and yet I'm not sure I'm that good at giving compliments. I'm sometimes too busy to really notice how someone else is looking or even what they're saying and if I do notice, I can feel awkward about saying something positive - always feeling I've missed the right moment to say it.

So, from now on, I'm going to be honest and say the nice things I'm thinking. And I'm going to slow down enough to notice just how great everyone else is looking.

I'm going to start off with thanking you all so much for reading. I don't know what I'd do without you.

I hope you have a lovely weekend,
Nina
PS I'm running a workshop on Wellbeing tomorrow. A couple of places left. It's in Westminster, London. If you're free, do come. It's going to be great.

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