This week, although surrounded by green 'go-ahead' lights, I started noticing everything I was procrastinating on (probably because our workshop this week is on procrastination).
I realised that although I was getting on with lots of things, I was avoiding anything to do with banking, phone calls (the usual) and, yes, my mother.
I hadn't seen my 95-year old mother for a few weeks and was definitely dragging my heels about seeing her. There was a fear there, which I hadn't noticed before, but I couldn't work out what it was.
Yesterday, out of the blue, my 18 year old daughter said she'd like to do an art project on my mum and I found myself overwhelmingly moved. Somehow the idea that my mum would be captured forever in an 'A' Level project was very poignant and my Lightbulb Moment was that I really dislike the overwhelmingly sadness I feel when I see her as she is now.
Ursie, my daughter, and me went to visit my mother yesterday and I decided to embrace my sadness and tell her that I was already missing her. With her dementia, she isn't my mother at all, but more like a 2 year old grand-daughter, but with none of the joys of growing and developing in front of her, just those of death. But my comment about missing her, delighted her and we had a lovely few hours together.
See you this week at Life Clubs when we'll be exploring the three reasons for procrastination and how to get past them. Read more about the workshop here.
Love Nina x
Founder Life Clubs
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