Treading on eggshells...

We've just done our feedback workshop (Telling It Like It Is) and it made me realise two things:

Firstly: yet again I've realised just how difficult it is to give feedback. It's wonderful when you can first practise your feedback on a stand-in guinea pig (like in the workshop) but when you plunge straight in, like I tend to do, you can break hearts.

Secondly: I noticed just how many of us want to get things off our chest. At the club there was a group of lovely people and each one of them had something they really wanted to say to someone else. It could have been a rift they wanted to heal or a situation they no longer wanted to be part of. But there were a lot of unspoken feelings floating around that room.

What would you like to say to someone but have been so busy treading on eggshells that you've never said it?

And is that something you'd like to say for their benefit... or yours?

There's a fun cartoon in my new book How To Get What You Want (£9.99, Walker Books, out on Monday!!!) all about feedback. Do buy it for anyone you know and love who is between 15 and 25. And, whilst you own it, check out if you wouldn't rather like it for yourself..!

Hope you have a great weekend,
Nina
PS Been asked by Psychologies Magazine to ask you if you'd fill out their quiz. It takes five minutes and a chocolate hamper could be yours!!!

Add Post To: | | | | | | | | |

What are you wearing..?

It was easy when I was three. I didn't care what I wore or what I looked like. I know I was beautifully dressed because I've been told - my mother had been waiting to have a child for so long that I'm sure she lavished the finest clothes on me that she could afford, but I had no idea that all this was going on.

The first time I remember becoming aware of clothes was when the nurse asked my brother if she could have my brother's wonderful beige, fringed cowboy jacket when he grew out of it. Of course, we didn't realise she was being silly and it would never fit her. We were so young we genuinely thought she wanted to wear it. I also thought then and there that it must be quite a special jacket for a grown-up to want it.

But, even then, it was many years before I really cared about what I wore.

Now I care. Recently I've been getting nervous about what to wear when I go into corporates. Having done little but write for most of my life I haven't come face to face with the corporate world before and have been feeling that I don't quite know how to 'fit in'. And yet, armed with this week's workshop, Presenting Me, I've been wondering why I even bother. Plus each business has its own special look.

Some are very crisp. Everyone seems to be wearing stripes and tailored jackets. Others are more flowery and individual. Some sport killer heels whereas others are in flat, sensible shoes. There seems to be no overall theme, just lots of different branches.

I'm just going to be 'me' from now on and let them work out who this grey-haired woman in T-shirts is. Or, better still, forget about what I'm wearing and just converse.

Do you dress for yourself or to fit in with your organisation?

Next week's workshop is all about giving and getting feedback. It's had great feedback(!) each time we've run it.

Why not buy an advance copy of my new book, How to Get What You Want, for nieces, nephews, grandchildren, god-children, friends or even... dare I say it... yourself. It's coming out next week!!!
All best,
Nina

Add Post To: | | | | | | | | |

How energised is your body?

At Life Clubs we were running a workshop on energising your body and so this week I joined Michelle Obama and did my first three day vegetable juice detox. My friend and Frome Life Clubs Host, Annie Lionnet, came round with her liquidizer and we juiced.

It would be a stretch to say that at first I felt energised, because I felt exhausted. I spent most of the afternoon of day one asleep or reading. But I did find the experience liberating and, ultimately energising. A few things I learnt:
* I was never hungry (that was a Lightbulb Moment) and therefore how much too much I usually eat
* After each meal/vegetable juice I felt l could turn a somersault and feel fine. I'd consumed just the right amount
* I never woke up the next day with a 'lead lump' in my stomach knowing I'd eaten too much the night before
* The bags under my eyes lessened - maybe from drinking so much water and vegetables
* Suddenly I had about 3 more hours in the day - no cooking, washing up, chatting around the table (and, although I missed the latter, we chatted elsewhere)

Annie is wonderfully creative, and concocted brilliant combinations of vegetables using liberal amounts of raw ginger and, sometimes garlic. I didn't even mind having them for breakfast - though I thought I would.

I can't recommend it because I have no idea whether it's really a good thing to do for one's body or not plus I was lucky had someone with me who had done it before. All I can say is that for me it really worked.

Next stop... buy a liquidiser.

Next week's workshop is all about presenting yourself to everyone - from a job interview to a new friend. Come and discover your strengths. I'm looking forward to it.

Hope you have a drier weekend than we're having,
Nina
PS Do order a copy of my new book How To Get What You Want. It's almost out!!!

Add Post To: | | | | | | | | |

So... what do you want to do with your life?

You know those films that come out and you miss them and, although you pine for a while about having missed them, you ultimately forget about them and get on with your life.

Good Will Hunting was one of those films. I'd forgotten all about it until this week when my daughter bought it from the fete and we watched it together and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

The most powerful bit, for me, came when the hero was being forced to think about his future and what he wanted from life. He found it difficult and I find it difficult. Especially in this current climate where, as an entrepreneur, I am being forced to keep changing my direction to go where the money is.

I've had a week of thinking about my future courtesy of Life Clubs. At the club we discovered our future just by drawing circles and trusting our intuition and this, coupled with Good Will Hunting, got me focusing on my goals for the next six years, although I know that they might have to change at any time should they fail to work.

My new book How To Get What You Want starts by helping you find out what you want. Although it's aimed at young people, I know a few adults who might find it useful... Me for one.

Good luck with discovering what you want to do with your life. Let me know how you get on...

Next week at Life Clubs we'll be energising our bodies. Now that can help you decide lots of things.

All best,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs

Add Post To: | | | | | | | | |

Oh gosh... are you as vain as I am?

This week's Life Clubs workshop was all about shapes and using metaphor to understand ourselves better.

And, the way life in Base Camp (our headquarters) echoes each workshop is that this week I have literally changed shape. This isn't about the diet, see below, (though it has been working), it's because I didn't heed the words of my dentist to have my tooth out. No, I told her I wanted to wait until it really needed to come out and, of course, I got an abscess and have had to have the tooth removed anyway (painful!)

It's not that I'm vain enough to think I'm the most beautiful person ever, but I realised just how vain I was when my son said 'put a picture on your blog of how you look now, Mum', because I am totally out of shape. I didn't want to show that 'out-of-shape Nina' to you, I wanted you to see my normal jaw line - something I always prided myself on - and imagine how it has swollen up beyond belief and understand that I am not myself - physically or mentally.

When we're out of shape in any way it makes us feel different and even unhappy. We want to hide away and lick our wounds. Now, what can I do to get back in shape and bounce around in the world the way I know and love?

All best wishes,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs
PS If you live/work in Notting Hill Gate and are interested in being in a TV series about the area, come to our Life Club on Monday in Ladbroke Grove if you're interested in being in the series (great publicity for any local business) and want to help us publicise Life Clubs.
PPS My new book, How To Get What You Want, looks great. Do have a preview peek.
PPS Next week's Life Clubs workshop is all about finding out what you want from your future. It's easy, fun and unbelievably revealing. Without thinking about it, you will know what your future will look like. Come along and find out. Click 'Now' (the pink post-it above) to find out more... and about following weeks.

Add Post To: | | | | | | | | |

How thin am I?

Being one of those 'I don't want to see skinny role models - my kids need to eat properly' type of mothers, I never thought I'd be blogging about dieting.

But suddenly everywhere I look I read about obesity being worse for our children than skinnyness and, as this week at Life Clubs we were thinking about ourselves from the outside in, Genevieve and I decided to go on a diet.

It's been five tough days. We are two women who love our food and then some. But for the whole of this week our plates haven't looked this dissimilar from the photo - except that instead of arranging our vegetables quite so beautifully on our plates we eat them. We walk around clutching our hungry stomachs and feeling like Julia Roberts... suffering.

But watch this space. Just give us a few months and we'll look like Julia too.

Next week is a brand new workshop, What Shape Am I In? It's not to do with diets, it's to do with metaphor and is great fun.

See you then,
Nina
PS First copies of my book, How to Get What You Want, have arrived. They are fab. Hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

Add Post To: | | | | | | | | |

Does The Secret work?

This week at Life Clubs we were discussing money.

Gosh. It's a fascinating subject, all the more so (quite possibly) because usually we don't talk about it. It's as if once you start you can't stop and so we chatted and chatted and chatted.

One of the things that came up was about the best-selling book, The Secret, and whether just by focusing on money you can create it. I'm afraid I haven't read it, but I've seen a bit of the film and know the general idea and have talked about it a lot with friends - not in terms of attracting money, but in terms of attracting a partner.

So, what did we decide. Does The Secret lead on nicely from last week's post in that just wishing for something will make it happen..? Sadly not.

With money and partners and anything else you want, sadly you can't just wish. Or you can, but you can't instantly expect that wish to come true.

What you can do is a lot of emotional work on yourself (which is what we were doing in the club) and then focus. And, if you focus and focus enough on what you want, your wish may well come true - just by the sheer persistence, confidence and awareness you're putting into it.

So, be absolutely clear on what exactly you want, believe that you can get it and focus on it.

And then, let me know what you've bought with your new-found money!

Next week's workshop is about self-image. Find out how your external self is stopping your internal self. Fascinating.

See you there - hope you have a great weekend,
All best,
Nina
PS These are wishing notes on a wishing tree
PPS Life Clubs has just had it's first wedding. To read all about it, click on the heart.

Add Post To: | | | | | | | | |