How to relax at Christmas

Yes, it's only a few days away from Christmas and so this week's workshop was all about relaxing.

Relaxing is something we do too little of at Christmas. We become perfectionists and feel under pressure to do everything perfectly.

We make lists of who we have to send Christmas cards to and then see the job as a 'chore' rather than, as one of my corporate clubbers so beautifully put it, connecting with others. We worry about when we'll have time to make the mince pies rather than just relax eating bought ones. We feel overwhelmed by everything we have to do instead of enjoying the moment.

There's just too much pressure!!!

What we do in my family is to each choose what we want Christmas to be about. We get two hours each to have just as we want to spend it.

My husband likes going for walks - that's a lovely long one whilst the sun is still out after lunch.
My eldest son likes watching a DVD he's got for Christmas. That's his two hours.
My eldest daughter likes dancing. That's two hours of mini disco for her and anyone who wants to join in.
My younger daughter likes acting. That's two hours of reading a play with all the family.
My younger son likes playing games. That's Monopoly for him.
And I like it when we all sit quietly around the Christmas tree watching the candles on the tree light up the room and listening to carols.

Our Christmas treats can take three days to fit in. I do mine on the 24th to set me up for Christmas, my husband his on the 26th and so on...

What's important is that Christmas is exhausting if you don't take it easy. So choose what you want from your two hours, now!

Happy Christmas to all of you and I hope you all have a wonderful 2011.

Love Nina x

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Work/Life Balance (or is it Life Balance?)

This week at Life Clubs we were contemplating the balance in our lives. A good way of doing this is to see what takes up your time and whether or not it's what you like doing.

At the moment I'm not having much of a life balance. One thing I love doing is seeing my husband and yet we're both working too hard. He hasn't worked this hard for years and it's making me work much harder as I can't see him.

I realised this Life Club that what I want to have is a theme for my week which will stop me working - even if I can't see him. It's totally obvious that my theme for the week will be Christmas and so this week my balance is going to be Christmas (rather than work) focused.

I'm buying presents, sending cards, planning meals. Now, how efficient is that? And, it's so much fun that I don't miss my husband quite as much!!!

Five ways to achieve your ideal life balance

1. Having goals (once you know what you want you will automatically prioritise your time accordingly)
2. Focusing will stop you getting distracted and procrastinating (no need to multi-task, just focus)
3. Book in time for everything you want to do – put it in your diary
(from an evening with your partner to time for you to be spontaneous)
4. Getting support (so you don’t have to do everything but can delegate – even if it’s to the children)
5. Make use of time saving devices (keeping favourite recipes together and directions of other’s homes)

Check what's taking up your time. If it's something that really you could do without, see if you can't do less of it.

Think of your life as made up of these stunning colours. Which would you like more of in your life? And how will that be possible?

All best wishes,
Nina

Two bits of exciting news:
1. Do your Christmas present shopping on our website - we have partnered with magazines (Psychologies, Elle and Red) and my favourite, totally natural soaps - fantastic presents at knock-down prices
2. Life Clubs has it's first cover story - January Easy Living magazine!!! It's called Life's Simplest Joys: we defy you not to smile when reading this. Yeah!

and what takes up our time. In my case it's definitely my computer

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The three types of problems

Dear All,

I don't know about you, but there are some things I find incredibly difficult to write about.

One of them is procrastination. Just thinking about procrastination makes me procrastinate. Writing the Life Clubs workshop on procrastination took ages and ages and preparing to run it is something I always leave to the last minute.

Another subject I find difficult to write about is problems and knowing that I had to write about them for this post has just added to my problems.

This week's workshop was all about stress and the problems we have.

In the workshop we divided up our problems into three groups:

1. Those problems which will eventually go away anyway so there's no point in worrying about them
2. Those problems which you can't do anything about - other people's
3. Those problems which you can solve

Once you've found that you can solve your problem, there's then nothing but (you guessed) procrastination stopping you.

Please forgive me, that's a gross simplification of problems, but you get the idea. We often worry about things there is no need to worry about.

I've been spending the last few days thinking about some of my domestic problems and decided that even though they're so bourgeois I'm going to tell you about them. I worry about what I'm going to cook for supper this week when friends come round. I worry about what I'm going to buy everyone for Christmas (and when). I worry about how I'm going to stay calm when all our visitors arrive over Christmas... and on and on.

I don't know if any of you have noticed, but as I was writing them down my Lightbulb Moment was that all my problems will all have gone away by January 1st (see 1. above), so I'm going to stop worrying about them now.

Phew. I can breathe again...

What do you worry about..?

This week's workshop (week of 6th December) is a wonderful workshop about the choices we have in our lives. If you're working too hard, not working hard enough, not sure if your life is in balance, come along. I look forward to seeing you.

And, if you haven't already, do check out our new website, mybestthingtoday. It's getting 800 hits a day which is absolutely amazing.

Hope you have a great week,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs
Author The Big Book of Me, The Life Book and How To Get What You Want

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Getting creative...

This morning both my husband and I woke up at 5.30 (well, I probably woke him if I'm really honest). We had a lovely chat and he decided he'd get up and start the day and I decided I'd stay in bed and think about what I was going to write about creativity (last week's workshop) in this, my blog.

What happened... I dropped off to sleep. Not that I got bored thinking about creativity or anything like that - it's my pet subject - but I was tired and, although my mind was engaged in an interesting 'does it have to be original?' internal discussion, my body had other ideas.

I woke up with my alarm a few hours later and have had the most creative of mornings.

My number one hint about creativity is sleep. Although it's romantic thinking of great ideas in the early hours of the morning it really only works if you can have a lie-in the next day. Creativity comes easiest with an awake mind.

My number two hint is stop worrying about whether or not you're being or feeling creative. The moment you start relaxing and taking care of yourself the creativity will come.

My number three hint is forget being original. Even Marie Antoinette noted that there weren't many original thoughts still to be had. Just be yourself.

It's Friday and the postman has just delivered all the photos I ordered last weekend - now for a creative treat...

Next week's Life Clubs workshop is all about stress and worries. We explore how to solve them so you can leave the workshop feeling lighter. See you there - come burdened!

Hope you have a great weekend,
Nina

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What motivates you?

Staring at the hopscotch board is a metaphor for what's going on in our lives.

Sometimes we're afraid of just taking that risk - of getting onto the first square. It's new... it's out of our comfort zone... it's scary.

But sometimes we're afraid of the routine of being on that hopscotch board. We can worry that once we're on it, there's no getting off. That our lives will be filled with monotony, drudgery, tedium.

I fit into the latter category. I love jumping on hopscotch boards and starting new things, but keep me doing the same thing for longer than a few minutes and I'm feeling bored.

So, how do I (or how will you) get motivated - either to start playing hopscotch or to carry on with the game?

This week at Life Clubs we found our motivational tools.

There are many ways of doing that and each of them brings up different results, but try this one now.

Think of all the things you've done since childhood, whether it's fishing or being friends with your best friend. Then work out what's made it so easy for you to keep doing those things.

You can apply the tools you find to each area of your life.

Two of my motivational tools are fun and freedom. If I've got to do something I don't want to I make it fun:
...I play some music
...I do it in twenty minute chunks
...I use different coloured pens... and so on

Find your motivational tools and use them to move you forward... and keep you going.

Next week at Life Clubs we're going to be discovering our creativity. I can't wait!

Hope you all have a wonderful week,
Nina
PS Do check out our new my best thing today.com website. It's getting 500 hits a day. Please send us a postcard.
PPS Visit us on facebook.

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Close that computer!!!

This could well be our kitchen table - only it's not quite that big.

We have almost got a computer each now and instead of talking we all sit there with our laptops hammering away and chuckling to ourselves.

Just occasionally one of my children will say to another 'Come and watch this film on youtube', but they might not even bother getting up and going over to watch it together - they might just send each other the link.

We're in our own little worlds. Not literally in the garden shed/garage pottering away (as our parents might have been), but isolated from whatever is happening in the real world. My six open desktop windows are my world and different from each of their open windows.

This week's workshop was on listening and it made me conscious of how isolated we all are. I made a determined effort to talk to people away from my computer - to clear the screen when I was on the phone (instead of multi-tasking) and even got quite cross with my poor husband when he tried to talk to me with his laptop open.

Conversation is not yet dead. Or at least I hope not.

I'm going to stop writing this now and go and have a conversation. I suggest you stop reading it too!

Hope you have a great week,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs

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What's the best thing that's happened today?

This week's workshop was about mirroring and how what you notice about others is all a part of you too.

An easy way to demonstrate is by looking at our mybestthingtoday.com website. I look down the postcards and each one makes me smile. Some with a feeling of recognition... waking up back home is definitely the best thing about today (that's just how I felt coming home from France after five weeks) and some just with a how lovely for them kind of feeling... having drinks out of jam jars at a vintage cocktail bar with my best friend (oh yeah!).

Their happiness is changing my mood. I'm becoming a mirror of their joy. And that feels great.

Thanks to all who have so far shared their best thing with us and thanks to all of you who'll do so in the future.

Hope you all have a great weekend,
Nina
PS Do buy The Times tomorrow. I've got an article in it about improving children's confidence (all ages covered).

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