Worrying for the world

This week's workshop was about what you're doing too much of and this week I'm worrying.

Two nights in a row now have been spend fretting over such little things that I'm almost embarrassed to talk about them.

...where we are all going to sit at supper... how I'm going to feel when I get back to the UK... how the balance in our shared house is going to change when my family arrive... when I'm going to have time to write this blog... and on and on.

If I was worrying about - or could indeed effect major changes in the world it would be one thing, but I feel so trivial just lying there tossing and fretting about nothing. Somehow those major changes don't appear as thoughts at night, it's just the little niggling things that pop up to stop me sleeping.

We all do too much of things. Some of us sleep too much, others spend too much, yet others love too much.

What are you doing too much of right now and what are you going to do about it?

Tonight I'm going to write all my worries down before I go to bed and hope they stay away until tomorrow.

Sweet dreams,
Nina
PS If you'd like to know more about excess, do sign up for our bulletin.
PPS If you want to stop me worrying whether anyone is buying my book(!) please do buy a copy.

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Change your mind

Yesterday I changed my screensaver (or desktop as they seem to call it on my mac). I found it quite traumatic. From easy to read files on a black background I've ended up with rather difficult to read files on a white background (but photo I took in a wonderful restaurant in London) and wondering whether to go back to the original picture.

If I found that change difficult, can you imagine how I must feel about changing my mind.

Last week's workshop was about using your mind to give you more confidence, so instead of having those 'I'm rubbish at life' thoughts going round in your head, you've got an 'I am great' thought.

And, I'd like you all to know, that I did achieve that. Changing my mind worked for me.

At a particularly low phase of life I decided I wanted to feel more confident. I settled on a very simple sentence 'I am confident. I can do anything' (no point at this stage in being modest!)

This is what I did:
* Every time I saw a mirror, I repeated my sentence looking at myself directly in the mirror and smiling.
* I did this first thing in the morning, last thing at night and whenever I saw a mirror in between.
* I said it once only, but with enormous conviction.
* At the same time I took some Confid drops (Australian Bush Flower Essences) and dropped them on my tongue twice a day.
* Expected things to change by the time I'd finished the bottle.

But it all happened very quickly - before I'd even finished the bottle.

I can't promise it will work for everyone and I certainly feel under-confident (or at least have under-confident moments) now just like anyone else, but it made an enormous difference at that particular period in my life.

So, change your mind and give it a go.

Next week's workshop is all about the things we do too much of. If you'd like to tackle your under-confidence that way, come along. Or anything else you're overdoing for that matter.

See you there and please, do buy a copy of my new book, How To Get What You Want. I think it's great (that's how confident I am!)
Nina

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Use your dreams to get what you want

There’s something magical about acting. I can see it in my son’s face, he has an extra dimension to him when he’s acting. An expression that isn’t usually there. It’s dreaming yet focused – both at the same time.

Listening to the actors he’s working with, I can hear how precarious their world is. It’s a lurch from one job to the next with long periods of no work and no money.

And yet there’s that beckoning of stardom.

We all have a beckoning. Something in our life that we love, that’s special for us. Something that we want to achieve.

This week’s workshop was called Holding Your Dreams and was about visualising that thing we want most and allowing our fantasy to help us make a realistic, practical plan.

I’m currently visualising my new book selling out.

Using this visualisation I know that I want to find any groups of young people be it in universities… schools… youth clubs… orchestras… anywhere. I see I need to find large groups of parents too, maybe also school teachers. I want great reviews on Amazon and in Waterstones. I’d like a big splash in any media possible.

If you want to help my dream, do buy How To Get What You Want for anyone you know between the ages of 15-25 – and have a look at it yourself before you give it away. You may find you want an extra copy.

My best wishes,
Nina x

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Stop wasting time…

My 11-year-old son is one of the main characters in an indie movie (you asked, it’s a film of Mother’s Milk, Edward St Aubyn’s wonderful book) and we’re in the South of France for filming. ‘All right for some’, I hear you say. Well yes… and no. Yes, it’s really beautiful and yes, today was lovely and hot and yes, we’re staying in the same house as the stars of the film (former crush, Jack Davenport) and the stunning Annabel Mullion and meeting lots of other ‘famous people’ and being involved in a really fun project…

But no, because there’s that niggling little work ethic I have that keeps on letting me know in no uncertain plans that actually I’m wasting my time.

This week’s workshop was all about ‘streamlining’ - organising your life so things run smoothly and right now I’m having to reassess the way I work, which is usually so simple and, yes, streamlined.

Analysing it, there are a couple of things that are making it really difficult for me:

1. Waiting
Tommy and I are constantly waiting. Waiting for the sun to come out, waiting for the crew to be ready, waiting to know what he is doing next. You all know what a lengthy business filming is and how difficult it is to slot work in-between the spaces available. It’s a matter of having to be prepared at all times.

2. Interruptions
I’ll just get started on reading this book (as you asked, it’s Executive Presence by Harrison Monarth) and after about half a paragraph something will happen or someone will say something that makes it impossible for me to continue. And then I’m back reading the paragraph all over again. Or I’ll start writing and, again, something will interrupt me.

But not one to give up, I’ve been racking my brains and I think I’ve found the solution. I’m not going to do anything for most of the day. I’m going to relax and enjoy the experience and realise that this is a once in a lifetime treat. And then, come the evening, I’m going to work for a couple of hours flat out and achieve all the solid graft that’s really urgent for me to achieve right now. I think that sounds like a plan.

That’s me no longer wasting time. What about you? How are you going to cope with everything that stops you moving forwards?

Talking about moving forwards… if you haven’t yet bought a copy of my new book, How To Get What You Want, do it now.

If you want to know more about Life Clubs and all the topics we cover, do join our bulletin or come to one of our clubs.

All best wishes from France,
Nina

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Treading on eggshells...

We've just done our feedback workshop (Telling It Like It Is) and it made me realise two things:

Firstly: yet again I've realised just how difficult it is to give feedback. It's wonderful when you can first practise your feedback on a stand-in guinea pig (like in the workshop) but when you plunge straight in, like I tend to do, you can break hearts.

Secondly: I noticed just how many of us want to get things off our chest. At the club there was a group of lovely people and each one of them had something they really wanted to say to someone else. It could have been a rift they wanted to heal or a situation they no longer wanted to be part of. But there were a lot of unspoken feelings floating around that room.

What would you like to say to someone but have been so busy treading on eggshells that you've never said it?

And is that something you'd like to say for their benefit... or yours?

There's a fun cartoon in my new book How To Get What You Want (£9.99, Walker Books, out on Monday!!!) all about feedback. Do buy it for anyone you know and love who is between 15 and 25. And, whilst you own it, check out if you wouldn't rather like it for yourself..!

Hope you have a great weekend,
Nina
PS Been asked by Psychologies Magazine to ask you if you'd fill out their quiz. It takes five minutes and a chocolate hamper could be yours!!!

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What are you wearing..?

It was easy when I was three. I didn't care what I wore or what I looked like. I know I was beautifully dressed because I've been told - my mother had been waiting to have a child for so long that I'm sure she lavished the finest clothes on me that she could afford, but I had no idea that all this was going on.

The first time I remember becoming aware of clothes was when the nurse asked my brother if she could have my brother's wonderful beige, fringed cowboy jacket when he grew out of it. Of course, we didn't realise she was being silly and it would never fit her. We were so young we genuinely thought she wanted to wear it. I also thought then and there that it must be quite a special jacket for a grown-up to want it.

But, even then, it was many years before I really cared about what I wore.

Now I care. Recently I've been getting nervous about what to wear when I go into corporates. Having done little but write for most of my life I haven't come face to face with the corporate world before and have been feeling that I don't quite know how to 'fit in'. And yet, armed with this week's workshop, Presenting Me, I've been wondering why I even bother. Plus each business has its own special look.

Some are very crisp. Everyone seems to be wearing stripes and tailored jackets. Others are more flowery and individual. Some sport killer heels whereas others are in flat, sensible shoes. There seems to be no overall theme, just lots of different branches.

I'm just going to be 'me' from now on and let them work out who this grey-haired woman in T-shirts is. Or, better still, forget about what I'm wearing and just converse.

Do you dress for yourself or to fit in with your organisation?

Next week's workshop is all about giving and getting feedback. It's had great feedback(!) each time we've run it.

Why not buy an advance copy of my new book, How to Get What You Want, for nieces, nephews, grandchildren, god-children, friends or even... dare I say it... yourself. It's coming out next week!!!
All best,
Nina

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How energised is your body?

At Life Clubs we were running a workshop on energising your body and so this week I joined Michelle Obama and did my first three day vegetable juice detox. My friend and Frome Life Clubs Host, Annie Lionnet, came round with her liquidizer and we juiced.

It would be a stretch to say that at first I felt energised, because I felt exhausted. I spent most of the afternoon of day one asleep or reading. But I did find the experience liberating and, ultimately energising. A few things I learnt:
* I was never hungry (that was a Lightbulb Moment) and therefore how much too much I usually eat
* After each meal/vegetable juice I felt l could turn a somersault and feel fine. I'd consumed just the right amount
* I never woke up the next day with a 'lead lump' in my stomach knowing I'd eaten too much the night before
* The bags under my eyes lessened - maybe from drinking so much water and vegetables
* Suddenly I had about 3 more hours in the day - no cooking, washing up, chatting around the table (and, although I missed the latter, we chatted elsewhere)

Annie is wonderfully creative, and concocted brilliant combinations of vegetables using liberal amounts of raw ginger and, sometimes garlic. I didn't even mind having them for breakfast - though I thought I would.

I can't recommend it because I have no idea whether it's really a good thing to do for one's body or not plus I was lucky had someone with me who had done it before. All I can say is that for me it really worked.

Next stop... buy a liquidiser.

Next week's workshop is all about presenting yourself to everyone - from a job interview to a new friend. Come and discover your strengths. I'm looking forward to it.

Hope you have a drier weekend than we're having,
Nina
PS Do order a copy of my new book How To Get What You Want. It's almost out!!!

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